Why Be Jewish?

Remove any potential distractions for a moment and consider the following quesitons:

1. If I could choose, without fear of punishment, social ostracism, or guilt, to become a non-Jew and therefore no longer be bound to fulfill the mitzvos or avoid (almost) any aveiros, would I do it? If so, proceed to the end.

2. If not... If I could choose to do so, would I choose to be Jewish, but pick which mitzvos I wanted to be obligated to keep, and which ones I no longer wanted to keep, would I do it? If yes, proceed to the end.

3. If not... If I could choose to keep all of the mitzvos in the Torah, but I could elect to no longer be bound to keep just one halacha that I've, perhaps, always wanted to shed, would I do it?

If you or I have to honestly answer "Yes" when considering any of these quesitons, the next question is, "So what now?"

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New Bilvavi Sefer Coming to a Seforim Store Near You!

Rav Shwartz, author of the Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh seforim, gave a series of shiurim on which this upcoming sefer is based. "Da Es Yeladecha" deals with the foundations in avodas Hashem one must attain to understand and carry out the true "raising" of children.

See here for more information.

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Da Es Beisecha - Building a Jewish Home - By Bilvavi Author

By the author of the Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh seforim, Da Es Beisecha is now available.

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Who is speaking in "Elokai Neshama"? The Body or the Soul?

Here is an interesting discussion about the relationship that exists between the body and the neshama in the context of the tefillah, "Elokai Neshama" that took place on the bilvavi yahoo discussion group.

D.M. asked:

On the subject of identifying as a neshama . a quick story will bring out a kasha. My eight year old son and his nine year old cousin were having a discussion. My son mentioned that we are a neshama and his cousin argued that we have a neshama. I overheard and thought of a small kasha that has been nagging me . We say every morning "Elokai, neshama she'nasatah be." implyies that I am a being and a neshama was placed in me rather than me being the neshama; how can we reconcile this lashon of the bracha with the concept of being a neshama rather than having a neshama.

B.W. responded:

The way I read it is that that tefillah is for a person speaking from his own subjective perspective, not from the perspective of reality.

As Rav Shwartz says in his piece that starts on page 208 in Bilvavi 5, you always have to ask at which level Chazal are speaking and understand in which place what they say is meant to be applied. Sometimes things are written from the perspective of reality, Hashem's reality. More often, they are spoken from the human perspective. At a level at which human beings can sanely and understandably understand and function.

While it is absolutely true that we are a neshoma enclothed in a guf, and not the other way around, psychologically, we usually identify ourselves with our guf/mind. (The mind/personality is also part of the guf.) Therefore, I would say that it is likely that the tefila of Elokai Neshama is speaking from the perspective of how we usually feel. We feel that the neshama was placed within us so the tefillah is written from that perspective, from our perspective, even though it doesn't reflect the truth from the point of view of "reality" or "Hashem's perspective."

M.B. responds:

One of the things I quote more often is the Gra's distinction between tefillah and tachanunim.

In short, there are three mitzvos in what we call "davenin": qeri'as shema, tefillah, and tachanunim. Everything else is preparation and ramp down for those three mitzvos.

Tefillah is davening for what we're supposed to consider important. It's an excercise in bringing oneself up to the A-lmighty. (To stray from the Gaon for a moment, both R SR Hirsch and R' YB Soloveitchik make this point based on the fact that the verb is usually used in the hitpa'el, reflexive (something done to oneself), "lehispallel", not "liflol".)

Tachanunim are an expression of what one actually needs to turn to one's Father and pour out. The ideal time is after tefillah. As in the list in Berakhos (17a) of various tannim who "basar tzelosana -- after their tefillah [Shemoneh Esrei] would say", including Mar berei deRavina who said E-lokai Netzor.

Even more ideally is that the two modalities mix, that one insert personal requests and qavanos into Shemoneh Esrei, and that one start with a scaffolding (such as E-lokai Netzor or Tachanun -- not the name!) for tachanunim.

(Tachanunim today are mostly associated with Breslover hisbonenus. However, how many of us remember our grandmother's old book of Yiddish "techines"?)

One of the things the Gra points out in distinguishing tefillah and tachanunim is the plurality. Shemoneh Esrei, the essence of tefillah, is in the plural. E-lokai Netzor is in the singular. Tefillos are always in the plural, because we should never feel isolated from the whole of Kelal Yisrael. Tachanunim can be either plural or singular.

I gave all of the above because it connected when I read B.W.'s reply:
> The way I read it is that that tefillah is for a person speaking from
> his own subjective perspective, not from the perspective of reality.

> As Rav Shwartz says in his piece that starts on page 208 in Bilvavi 5,
> you always have to ask at which level Chazal are speaking and understand
> in which place what they say is meant to be applied. Sometimes things
> are written from the perspective of reality, Hashem's reality. More
> often, they are spoken from the human perspective. At a level at which

"E-lokai Neshamah" is written in the singular; eg the opening word is "My G-d" not "Our G-d". By the Gra's rule, this means it has to be tachanunim, an expression to the Father of how we are feeling now. IOW, if we fold the two ideas together, the Gra is telling you that anything in the singular is from what RIS called "human perspective".

Like E-lokai Neshamah!

So, it all fits.

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Knowing One's Self? Or Knowing One's Creator? Which Comes First?

Our friend Tuvia, the proprietor of the Bilvavi.net website, presented Leah Shaindel's question (included below) to Rav Shwartz, the author of the Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh seforim, regarding how to know whether to work on the avodah of knowing one's self or knowing Hashem, first.

I had been learning Bilvavi but was recommended to first learn da es atzmecha. although I feel I can really gain alot from da es atzmecha, it purposely doesnt focus on Hashem and I just kind of miss that alot. so I was wondering how a person can tell which mehalech is for him. Ultimately, Rav Shwartz says that either first a person comes to hacaras Boro and then through that finds hacares atzmo or vice versa.

Dixie Yid explained based on some things that Rav Weinberger says, that it would seem that Da Es is an important pre-cursor to Bilvavi since if you haven't seperated the external things that aren't really you from your understnding of who *you* are, then the "self" that you will be trying to connect to Hashem in the Bilvavi Avodah won't really be your "self." It would just be some image you have compiled of who you are. According to this, it is only after removing the noise and external affectations from your idea of who you are, that you can effectively work on getting your "self" closer to G-d.

Rav Shwartz explained in a shiur that it takes around 10 years to fully internalize da es atzmecha, and to fully identify with only the pnimiyus of who you are. Of course, it isn't an avodah that "ends" after 10 years- its a lifelong thing, but that a person will be able to work on the avodah of bilvavi after that time.

So lets say I fully go into da es atzmecha for 10 years or so- what does that mean about my relationship with Hashem- I can't really work on it? I mean the truth is that identifying more and more with one's neshama which is a chelek of Hashem draws me closer to Him, but Rav Shwartz makes it very clear not to directly connect the avoda of da es atzmecha to avodas haBorei such as bilvavi. Or does needing to learn Da es atzmecha from the start imply that since I never truly knew myself I never truly connected to Hashem from my neshama? Then how do I approach tefila while still in this limbo state?

Below is Rav Shwartz's answer typed and translated:

הכרת עצמו והכרת בוראו מה קודם למה?


עבודת האדם היא להכיר את עצמו ואת בוראו. אולם הכרת עצמו אינה תכלית אלא אמצעי- שביל בלבד להכרת הבורא, שהיא התכלית.
אולם איזה מהם קודם? בפשטות הכרת האדם את עצמו קודמת להכרת בוראו.
אולם בדרכי העבודה יש דרך להתחיל תחילה בהכרת עצמו, ויש דרך להתחיל תחילה בהכרת הבורא. ויש לכך פנים לכך ופנים לכך.
אם מקדים האדם את ידיעת עצמו לידיעת בוראו, הרי שעובד בדרך מיוסדת ובנויה, אולם מאידך כל זמן שעובד על הכרת עצמו חי בלי הכרת בוראו ואלו הם חיים ללא חיות פנימית אמיתית. זולת כך ישנו חשש שמא ימשך כל ימיו להכרת עצמו ולהכרת בוראו לעולם לא יגיע כפי שעינינו רואות אצל עובדים מסוימים. יתר על כן מי שכבר חש מעט את הכרת בוראו, מעט וכ"ש יתר על כן, נפשו תובעת להכיר את בוראו יותר ויותר ואינו מסוגל להניח זאת שנים עד שיכיר את עצמו היטב...
אולם צד שני למטבע שאילו יקדים האדם את הכרת בוראו להכרת עצמו הריהו כאדם הבונה קומה שניה ללא שיש לו קומה ראשונה... ופעמים רבות תולדת דרך זה שנעשה אדם בלתי מציאותי תלוש מגדרי המציאות הניכרת לעין הגשמית, ודרך זה מלבד שאינה מביאה להכרת הבורא אמיתית כי נחסרת היא את האמצעי- הכרת עצמו, יכולה להוליד תנודות קשות בנפש כי זהו אדם שחי עם שמים ללא ארץ עם דמיון ללא הויה.
דע את עצמך הוא דרך מקדים חשוב לבלבבי מאחר שאם עדיין לא הפרדת את הדברים החיצוניים שאינם באמת אתה, מההבנה שלך של מי אתה, אז ה"אתה" שתנסה לחבר אל השם בעבודת בלבבי לא תהיה באמת עצמך, אלא תהיה זו דמות שהרכבת בעצמך של מי אתה. לפיכך רק לאחר הסרת הרעש והעמדות הפנים החיצוניות מהתפיסה שלך של מי שאתה, אז תוכל להתחיל לעבוד ביעילות על קירוב עצמך לאלקים.
אשר על כן כל דרך יש בה מעלות וחסרונות כנ"ל. ועל כן אדם חייב להכיר מחד את המעלות והחסרונות שבכל דרך, ומאידך להכיר מעט את עצמו איזה דרך יותר קרובה לנפשו. והמחפש אמת באמת ינחהו בעל האמת לבחור איזה דרך להקדים ואיזה דרך לאחר. להקדים ולאחר דייקא כי השלמות מורכבת הן מידיעת עצמו והן מידיעת בוראו.
אדם שבחר להתחיל בהכרת עצמו, עליו להקדיש כמה דקות ביום להכרת בוראו, וכן להיפך, אדם שבחר להקדים את הכרת בוראו, עליו להקדיש כמה דקות ביום להכרת עצמו.

Your life's mission requires you to know your self as well as your Creator (acknowledgment of the Creator refers to a palpable sense of Hashem's presence in your life). The knowledge of the self is only an intermediate path for knowledge of the Creator, which is the goal.

Which of these should come first? Logically, self-knowledge should precede knowledge of the Creator. Practically speaking, though, there is one approach that begins with self-knowledge, and another that begins with knowledge of the Creator, and each approach has its merits.

If one places self-knowledge before knowledge of the Creator, his method is sound and solid. On the other hand, as long as he is focused on self-knowledge, he lives without a relationship to his Creator, and his life lacks real inner vitality. In addition, there is a concern that he will spend his entire life on self-knowledge without ever attaining knowledge of the Creator, as we see with some people who engage in spiritual work. Furthermore, if one has already begun to attain a sense
of his Creator, even if occasionally, and certainly if it is more often, his soul will demand greater and greater knowledge of the Creator, and he will not be capable of setting that goal aside for years until he manages to know himself well.

On the other hand, if one gives precedence to attaining knowledge of the Creator, he is akin to one who builds a second floor before having a ground floor. A common result is that he loses touch with reality, and does not properly relate to the world we see with our physical eyes. Not only will he never achieve genuine knowledge of the Creator. Since he lacks the stepping stone of self-awareness, he is liable to suffer from emotional instability. He lives with only heaven, not earth; with delusion, not reality.

For this reason, Da et Atzmecha is an important prelude to the Bilvavi books. If, when you think about who you are, you have not yet learned to filter out the outer layers that are not really part of "you," then the "you" that you will try to connect to Hashem will not be the real self; it will just be some false self-image that you have combined from various elements. Only after removing all the inner "noise" and the facade that taints your self-concept can you effectively commence with the work of making that true self closer to Hashem.

Hence, each approach has its advantages and disadvantages. Each person must understand these advantages and disadvantages and also have an adequate measure of self-knowledge in order to sense which approach is most suited to his soul. One who truly seeks truth will be guided by the Master of Truth to choose which approach to adopt first and which later. Note that we said "first" and "later" because self-perfection requires both self-knowledge and knowledge of the Creator.

One who chooses to start with self-knowledge should also devote a few minutes daily to knowledge of the Creator; conversely, one who has chosen to start with knowledge of the Creator should also devote a few minutes daily to self-knowledge.

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Introductory Shiur to "Da Es Atzmecha" - Rav Weinberger - Free download

With thanks to Neil Harris at Modern Uberdox for pointing this out to me, y'all might be interested in knowing that the first shiur by Rav Moshe Weinberger from Cong. Aish Kodesh in Woodmere, NY, on the sefer Da Es Atzmecha, is, for the time being, available for free download from Aish Kodesh's website.

Getting to Know Me (1) - An Introduction to Self Knowledge and Self Repair

-Dixie Yid

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Da Es Atzmecha - Sefer Translation is Online!

The English translation to the first section of Da Es Atzmecha is online at Bilvavi.net HERE. I've added it to my permenant links in the Bilvavi section of my right side bar. Many have asked me about this so enjoy!

-Dixie Yid

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Rav Moshe Weinberger on "Da Es Atzmecha," Getting to Know Me

The following words from Rav Moshe Weinberger, from Cong. Aish Kodesh in Woodmere, NY, were given over to introduce the sefer Da Es Atzmecha, which Rav Weinberger is giving a weekly shiur in (which is also available on their website) in an e-mail from the Aish Kodesh Audio Division:

On Shabbos afternoon, Parshas Kedoshim 5768, Rav Weinberger began a new series of shiurim based on the sefer "Da Es Atzmechah" (Know Yourself) by the author of the s'forim "Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh," Rav Itamar Schwartz of Yerushalayim. Rebbi repeated the shiur during the week so that it could be recorded.

In the words of Rav Weinberger, "The s'forim hakedoshim tell us that every introduction to the sefer is the neshamah of the sefer; that's the place where the author, in a few words is giving himself over in such a way that we understand who he is...and what is he trying to convey to us."

For this very reason, the members of the Audio Division decided to transcribe the first few minutes, Rav Weinberger's introduction to the first shiur, in their entirety. Hebrew words are translated following their first appearance.
Note: Other than removing repeated words of phrases, no editing was done. Nonetheless, any inaccuracies or mistakes are solely the fault of the transcriber.

"Over the past year and a half or two we've been learning here in the Beis Medrash some of the basic yesodos (fundamentals) of the kochos hanefesh (powers of the soul); we're learning different pieces from Tzaddikim (righteous men), from different sforim (books); and before that I've been giving for almost two years shiurim (talks) on the inyan (topic) of menuchas hanefesh (inner peace). It has become very clear to us over time, how, in order to achieve menuchas ha'nefesh, we really have to understand what the nefesh (soul) is.

And it's hashgachah pratis (personal divine attention), something that is very clear to me that Hakadosh Baruch Hu has sent into my personal life and into our lives, a Jew who is able to write sforim that have the most incredible way of opening up the most difficult inyanim and laying them out before our eyes in a very beautiful and clear way. Therefore I was so grateful to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, that davka (especially), as we were coming to the crossroads of this entire sugiya (specific topic) which is the sugiya of our lives, of who we are, the entire sugiya of the nefesh (soul) and of kochos hanefesh, to be able to achieve menuchas hanefesh and to live our lives in the way that each and everyone of us is supposed to, each person in her way, in his way, that exactly at the time of the crossroads, Hakadosh Baruch Hu sent this particular sefer, "Da Es Atzmechah" (Know Yourself) written by the author of "Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh" which is very different from all his other s'forim.

[Note: During the introduction on Shabbos, Rebbi also said: "I believe that klal Yisrael (the Jewish nation) has been waiting for this sefer since Ma'amad Har Sina (receving the Torah at Mount Sinai)"] Those of you who are familiar with his s'forim - we've been learning them very carefully over these past few years - will notice immediately how different this sefer is. The mechaber (author) himself discusses this in the p'sichah, in the introduction to the sefer that we are going to be learning in a minute.

Even though the sefer actually consists of two parts, and, l'chatchilah (a priori) the mechaber wanted us to begin with cheilek (part) aleph, otherwise it would be cheilek beis; so it must be that he wanted us to learn cheilek aleph; for reaons that I'm not going to go into right now, and I don't believe it's necessary, we're going to begin with the second cheilek. I personally see that the second cheilek is what is nachutz (urgent) for us right now, it's what's urgently needed for us right now, and it's the hemshech (continuation) of what we've been working on these past few years.

You know that the s'forim hakedoshim (holy writings) tell us that every introduction to the sefer is the neshamah (deepest soul) of the sefer; that's the place where the mechaber, or the author, in a few words is giving himself over in such a way that we understand who he is, and what he wants from this sefer; what is he trying to convey to us. What does he want us to learn from this sefer and how does he want us to grow from this sefer. So the second cheilek begins on page 65; and he writes a p'sichah klallis (general introduction), he writes an introduction to the second cheilek which is really an independent sefer; it could have been printed separately. So he writes a p'sichah klallis to this.

Two technical things: a) I'm going to try as much as possible, and Hakadosh Baruch Hu should help me, as much as possible to explain the sefer and to learn the sefer. Whereas in the past and even in the present when I learn other sforim with the chevreh (group of friends), I'm adding a lot of things that come to my mind as we're learning, from the Parshah (weekly portion), from the Yom Tov (holiday), from that time, things that are olim al haperek (are connected to this matter), things that are noge'ah (of concern) to that particular time; and as a result of that things can take much longer and I understand that it can often disturb or disrupt the natural flow that was intended by the author of the sefer. In this particular case, because of the nature of the limud (study), I'm going to try especially hard not to introduce outside inyanim, as much as a temptation there is to do that, because the entire Torah, and everything in Torah is connected, one to the other and that's our whole simchah (joy) in learning Torah. But it would be very counterproductive to do this. In the earlier years all the years, I'd give shiurim on Shabbos, a separate shiur each shiur on something that was noge'ah to that particular Parshah, that particular time. And then it was sort of left up to each and everyone of us to weave these inyanim together.

The author here is basically introducing us to ourselves and who we are; and as we'll see in a few minutes in this hakdamah already, without having that information, that yecholes, that ability to enter into ourselves, da es atzmechah, our avodas Hashem (divine service) and the years that we spend in this world could chalilah, chalilah (heaven forbid) be l'vatalah (a waste).


Also, at this time of the year, meaning after Pessach until after the Yamim Nora'im (Days of Awe), the shiurim are given on Shabbos, and that's really when I feel they should be given, and it's very Shabbosdig; in order that we should be able to chazer, to review, I'm going to be giving, as now, a review, a chazarah (review) during the week. The original shiur is Shabbosdig, and of course, Shabbos itself infuses every single word with the or (light) of Shabbos. So Hashem Yisborach should help that on these chazarah shiurim , that at least the yesod of what the mechaber is conveying to us, Hashem Yisborach should help me to give that over."

We hope that you will be as inspired as we were.
The Aish Kodesh Audio Division.

-Dixie Yid

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Which Is First? Self Nulification or Self Knowledge?

Here's what I wrote in response to a post at A Simple Jew, entitled: The Moment Your "I" Disappears. Any thoughts?

Everything you're saying is true.

With that said, you cannot be mevatel your "I" to G-d before you even know who that "I" is that you are being mevatel.

I came to this realization when trying to understand something that Rav Itamar Shwartz, shlita, wrote at the End of Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh, Vol. 2. He wrote there, in the context of making everything that you do "Lishma," i.e. for the sake of giving nachas ruach to Hashem, that one first must clarify to himself why he is doing everything, and only then can he begin to work on being mevatel all of the other reasons and only doing things for the sake of giving nachas ruach to Hashem.

I wondered why this is. If the whole purpose is to rid one's self of all of the external "I's" reasons for doing things, then why not just immediately begin working on davening and working on serving Hashem for Hashem's sake.

The reason, ostensibly, is that until I understand all of the personal reasons why I do various mitzvos, I can't work on being mevatel them. Until I understand what it is that I must rid myself of, I can't target and eliminate those aspects of "myself."

Although you are right that total bitul is the ideal, the vast majority of us will not reach that goal if we skip the necessary pre-condition, which is understanding the self that we are to be mevatel.

-Dixie Yid

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One Cannot Know Hashem Until He First Knows Himself

My rendition of some words from my rebbe:

Rav Kook said, "'אם אין 'אני', אין 'הוא', ואם אין 'הוא', אין 'אתה." "If there is no "I," there can be no 'He.' And if there is no 'He,' then there is no 'You.'"

Pronouns like "You" and "He" imply a relationship between the one who is speaking and the one being referred to by the pronoun. If I do not know who "I" am, then it is meaningless to talk about "him" or talk to "You." When I say "Baruch Atah Hashem" in a bracha, Rav Kook is saying that it is senseless to say "You" to Hashem when I don't even know who the "I" is who is supposedly talking to Hashem!

We know from many places, including the Ramchal, and methodologically guided by the Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh seforim, that our avodah in this world is to be misdaveik, cleave ourselves to the Master of the World. However, If my whole avodas Hashem is just a collection of imitations of others, doing things that I've seen in seforim or aspects of avodas Hashem that I've read about which were shiach to big Tzadikim, but none of what I've done has been ME doing it for the sake of who I am, then it was never me who connected to Hashem. It was someone else.

If there is no "I," there can be no "You" in my "Baruch Atah Hashem."

The ultimate goal is indeed to connect to Hashem. But as I've written about before, until one knows himself, he won't have anyone to whom to connect Hashem to. So the pre-requisite avodah for many of us should be (in addition to our regular avodas Hashem, which should of course not be suspended) attaining self knowledge.

This is because when we can finally uncover our neshoma, our soul, we will know ourselves. And when we open the door to our own soul, inside of it we will find the "nishmas kol haneshamos," the Soul of all souls, Hakadosh Baruch Hu, the Holy One.

My rebbe highly recommends the sefer by the Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh author, "Da Es Atzmecha," "Know Yourself." He says that one could learn thousands of seforim and never find any guide to this pre-requisite avoda of self-knowledge which is as clear and simple as this sefer. (I think he's saying that from un-exaggerated personal experience!) He told the author that Klal Yisroel has been waitinf for this sefer since Ma'amad Har Sinai. He also recommends starting with chelek beis, the second half of the sefer, before going on to the first chelek.

IY"H, I think this needs to be a priority.

-Dixie Yid

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Big Life Changes As Distraction From the Real Avodah of the Moment

Check out my answer to the following question posed to me by A Simple Jew.

A Simple Jew asks:

Rabbi Tzadok HaKohen of Lublin once wrote, "We humans chase over the world to find things: We climb high mountains; we descend to the nethermost depths of the sea; we trek to the wilderness and to the desert. There is one place where we neglect to search - our heart. But it is there we will find Hashem."

Similarly, in an e-mail conversation on the topic of making changes in our lives you wrote, "In my experience, often making big external changes are often just a way of distracting one's self from the point of the inner work…"

Could you elaborate on this point a bit further and describe an experience or experiences that led you to this conclusion?

Dixie Yid Answers:

-Dixie Yid

(Picture courtesy of continentalvan.com)

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