How Much Time Daily Should I Spend on My Purpose in Life?

I recently received the e-mail below from a friend, asking for my thoughts on how he should allocate his time for a certain aspect of what he feels is perhaps his "life's work," the reason why he was placed on this earth. If you can, think about his question and my response to him. Perhaps you would have answered differently. Is there anything you would like to add? How do you approach the issue in your own life? Here's his question:

Recently I have been giving a lot of thought to whether I am spending enough time each day working on [a certain] project. On one hand, I am working on it at least 30 minutes a day/5 days a week. However, on the other hand, if this project is one of the reasons Hashem put me on the earth, then 30 minutes is certainly not enough.

Any thoughts?

And here was my response:

I don't know know if there's any connection between the thoughts that if something is one of the reasons one is created that one necessarily has to spend more than half an hour a day on that thing. Is it ratzon Hashem for you to spend more than 1/2 an hour a day on it? Well that would depend. What are the alternatives? If you did spend more time, would you not have enough time to be ma'avir sedra or to learn Gemara or halacha or whatever your other sedorim are? If spending more time on it would mean doing something that you have reason to believe is against ratzon Hashem, then that would imply that spending "only" 1/2 an hour a day on your project is ratzon Hashem.

And also, what do you mean by saying that the project is "one of the reasons why Hashem put you on earth?" If you mean that on its literal level (that it is one of many reasons why Hashem created you), then what about the example of politely smiling and thanking the check-out person at the grocery store? If it's ratzon Hashem for you to do that at the moment you finish your transaction with her, then that too is "one of the reasons Hashem put you on earth." Does that mean that you should davka spend more than 1/2 an hour smiling at check out girls? Obviously not.

Everything that it is ratzon Hashem for one to do at any given moment is "one" of the reasons why Hashem created him. But the amount of time one should spend on that thing depends on what ratzon Hashem says is the appropriate amount of time to be spent on that thing. For pleasantly thanking check out clerks, that's probably about 1 second. For learning kitzur shulchan aruch yomi, it's probably the amount of time it takes to learn that, let's say 10 minutes.

For your project, my personal opinion on how to "divine" what the amount of time is that Hashem wants you to spend on it is: See how much time you have after all of the other things you have to do. And then ask yourself where you would get the time from if you increased how much time you spent on it. (e.g., some other learning seder, sleep time, family time, work time...) Then ask yourself whether, in the aggregate, you'd be failing to fulfill what Hashem wants of you in those other areas of life. If so, then perhaps 1/2 an hour a day *is* what Hashem wants from you. If not, then you know you should increase the time since it sounds like you feel a pull to increase the time.

Make any sense?

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Upgrading From Manischewitz to Dom Perignon

If you have a cup of Manischewitz and you want to upgrade to a cup of Dom Perignon. You can't just add the Dom Perignon to the Manischewitz. If you do, then you don't really have Dom Perignon. You'd just have a corrupted mixture of Dom Perignon and Manischewitz. The Manischewitz may be good on a certain level. But if you want Dom Perignon, you have to pour out the old wine completely and wash out the cup. It may hurt to "waste" the lower wine, but the only way to have a pure cup of Dom Perignon is by purging the cup of the lower quality wine first.

This idea connects to a story that I just received from a reader about his meeting this week with the mekubal, Rav David Chaninia Pinto:

Have you heard of Rav David Chanania Pinto? He's fairly well know with the Sephardic/M'kubal community. He's also, it seems, know as a Baal Mussar (his father learned in the Novardok Yeshiva)...

He asked if I had given my wife a watch. I did give her a watch when we got engaged and I got her another one about a year ago. My wife mentioned to the Rav that both of them were broken. He said "If it is broken, then it's as if you have nothing". Fairly profound mussar, if you ask me. I was a bit overwhelmed, but was able to speak with him on the phone yesterday.

I asked him about what he said regarding "if it's broken, it's as if you have nothing" in contrast to the teaching of Reb Nachman "If you believe you can damage, believe you can fix". He said that "if you do not have the skills to fix a watch, then really have nothing". If you can't fix something then you need to start from the beginning...

I wish I could write that "I don't know what to make of it", but the truth is that it's what I needed to hear.

See also:

One Must Destory in Order to Build
One Must Destory in Order to Build Part II

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Fighting Against "Lust Addiction" A Website to Help

Guard Your Eyes.com - HT Avakesh. From their website:

Welcome to the GuardYourEyes community, a vibrant network and fellowship of religious Jews of all affiliations, struggling to purify themselves and break free from inappropriate behaviors stemming from Lust addiction.

With the advance of technology and the ease of availability and privacy that the internet provides, it has become a daily struggle for many religious Jews to remain Erlich (morally and ethically upright) even in their own homes. Jewish Leaders, Rabbis and Experts worldwide, are beginning to speak out about this serious problem more and more.

Our network is comprised of a website: www.guardureyes.com, a dynamic blog-site (under development) at www.guardyoureyes.org that offers new material, tips, stories and articles each day, RSS feeds (coming soon) and a pulsating forum where members post logs of their journeys to recovery, ask questions and exchange tons of Chizuk with the rest of the community. Besides this, the GYE network provides weekly phone conferences, hotlines - both in the U.S and Israel, and two daily Chizuk e-mails, 1. “Learning how to break free of lust addiction” and 2. “General Chizuk in guarding the eyes”. We also help people find accountability partners and sponsors.

For the first time, a religious Jew has where to turn to for help in this area, as well as an entire network of tools, tips and group support to help break free from the insidious grasp of this addiction. All our work is free of charge (although donations are our life-line) and we zealously protect the complete anonymity of our members. On our forum, charts and on the hotlines and weekly phone conferences, only pseudo-names and non-revealing e-mail addresses are used. For starters, you may want to make yourself an anonymous e-mail address before joining our community (something like baLetaher@gmail.com).

With the guidance of R’ Avraham J. Twerski, a world renowned expert on addictions, author of over 50 books and a true Gadol in Klal Yisrael, we present a set of guidelines to help anyone, no matter how far they have fallen, to find their way out of the vicious cycle of Lust addiction.

Our sages have called Shmiras Habris “Yesod”, meaning “Foundation”. The foundation of a building is “underground” and no one sees it, yet it holds up the entire building! Shmiras Habris is the hidden part of a Jew, it’s the real you. If the foundation of a Jew is weak, his whole spiritual structure is in grave danger of collapse. At GYE we are finally joining together, for ourselves and for all future generations, to strengthen the foundations of our people.

This area has been Taboo in the religious community for far too long. There is such a desperate need for our work today. Finally people are finding that they are not alone and that there is true hope in overcoming this addiction.

The very fabric of our society is at stake here. Families are literally being destroyed. Husbands, wives and children are all being affected in some way. The ease of accessibility and privacy that the internet provides, is the all out attack of Amalek in our generation.

At GuardYourEyes we are saving lives and marriages every day - literally, not to mention giving people back their sanity, self-respect and connection to spirituality, all of which they had given up for lost, thinking that they had no hope to ever break free… See here for how wide spread this epidemic seems to be in the religious community today.

And please see here for Testimonials of how our network is helping people all the time. See as well the testimonial section of our new site over here. And download a PDF file of the latest testimonials, just from this past March and April, 2009, over here.

Is there anywhere else in the world where one can find such an awakening of such deep levels of Teshuvah and closeness to Hashem like what is happening on our site and forum every day? Read the testimonials and see for yourself! How many countless times people write to us how they simply broke down crying when reading the website and the posts on the forum, and when they realize that they too have hope!

GuardUrEyes is the main, if not the only, religious network in the world today that deals with this issue in such a comprehensive manner, with so many tools, a forum, a blog site, e-mail lists, phone conferences, hot-lines, 12-Steps, etc…

And what we have now is only a start. Ultimately, we hope that our work will spread throughout the Jewish world. We are developing a network of sponsors and partners, and a growing community of people who want to be part of this revolution.

And we hope that these handbooks that we are working on now will ultimately evolve into published books. And we hope that our message will one day be translated into other languages as well, such as Hebrew, Russian, Spanish, French and more!

The Zohar writes that Shmiras Habris is one of the main areas holding up the Ge’ulah. We literally are paving the path for Moshiach. Be a part of it! Join the revolution. Every time we fix ourselves, we are fixing a whole world. (See here for a cute parable).

Help Us Help Others. We can’t do it without you.

Help support GuardYourEyes according to your means. Perhaps you can set aside a percentage of your Ma’aser money and become a monthly sponsor to “partner” in our holy work.

And if you know of any other ways that we may garner financial support, for example, other people who may have Ma’aser money and who would understand the importance of what we are doing, or organizations that work towards these same goals, please let us know.

The very fabric of our society is at stake. Be a part of saving Klal Yisrael in what is perhaps the most difficult test of our generation.

In the merit of your help, Hashem will give you special divine assistance in your own struggle. This is based on “Midah kineged Midah”. If you help others heal and help us spread the message of hope, Hashem will help you as well, in ways you never believed possible.

Perhaps you can help us spread the word and let the Rabbanim, mechanchim and community leaders know that there is hope. Or perhaps you can help us get articles published in Jewish newspapers, magazines and on-line websites. Maybe you even have your own website and can put up a banner that links to our site. See here for some available banners. And see here for a Flyer that you can print out to hang up in your neighborhood shteiblach, bulletin boards or the like, or use to sponsor an ad in your community or neighborhood magazines.

Chazal say that there is nothing Hashem despises as much as Zimah (promiscuity and licentiousness). Yet, without these intense struggles, could we really become great men and Tzadikim? So Hashem knows that we need to have this Yetzer Hara, but only so that we succeed to break free in the end, and in the process, we learn to give Hashem our hearts. And that’s what GuardUrEyes is doing: Helping people get back their sanity, their lives, and their connection with Hashem and his Torah. We are fixing the world, one person at a time.

R’ Noach Weinberg Za”l, Rosh yeshiva of Aish Hatorah used to ask people if they thought they could change the world. And they would say, “what can I do on my own?”, And then he would ask them, “If Hashem helped you, could you do it then ?” And they would agree that with Hashem’s help, anything is possible. That was Rav Noach’s life-time philosophy. He knew that he could do nothing without Hashem, but with Hashem, he knew he could change the world. And he DID.

He was also once asked how he had been so successful in building such a colossal world-wide Kiruv movement. He replied that he had once seen a crane lifting a 10 ton block of cement, while the workers on the roof guided it into place. Explained Rav Noach, since the prophets have already promised that the Yidden will do Teshuvah before Moshiach’s time, Hashem is already holding the 10 ton block for us. All that is left for us to do, is guide it into place.

It is the same with Shmiras Habris. The Holy books write that before Moshiach time there will be a great awakening of purity in these areas. All we have to do, is to be there to guide our Jewish brother’s hearts back into place.

Happy is the lot of those who are a part of this!

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Sweetening the Bitter Parts of Life with Bitterness

My Rebbe gave an amazing drasha Shabbos morning that really is such an important teaching for us today.

He told over the Midrash Tanchuma in Parshas Beshalach regarding how Hashem told Moshe to sweeten the bitter waters at Mara by throwing in a tree(Shmos 15:22-25).

כשבאו למרה ולא יכלו לשתות מים ממרה והיה משה סבור שהקדוש ברוך הוא אומר לו שישליך שם דבש או דבילה והמים מתמתקין... ויורהו ה' עץ. אמר ליה הקדוש ברוך הוא, משה, אין דרכי כמדת בשר ודם. עכשיו אתה צריך ללמוד, שנאמר, ויורהו ה' עץ. ויראהו לא נאמר כאן אלא ויורהו, הורהו בדרכיו. ומה היה העץ... מר היה. רבן שמעון בן גמליאל אומר, בא וראה כמה מופלאין דרכיו של הקדוש ברוך הוא יותר מדרכי בשר ודם. בשר ודם, במתוק מרפא את המר. אבל הקדוש ברוך הוא, במר מרפא את המר.

When they came to Mara, and they couldn't drink the water from Mara [because it was bitter], Moshe thought that Hakadosh Baruch Hu would tell him to throw some honey or figs there, and the water would be sweetened. "And Hashem showed him (ויורהו) the tree." Hakadosh Baruch Hu said to him, "Moshe, My ways are not like those of flesh and blood. Now you must learn." As it says, "And Hashem 'taught' him the tree." "ויורהו ה' עץ" It does not say that he "showed him." ("ויראהו") Rather, "he taught him," "ויורהו." He taught him His ways. And what kind of tree was it? ... [A willow tree,] a bitter one. Rabi Shimon ben Gamliel says, 'Come and see how wondrous are the ways of Hakadosh Baruch Hu over and above the ways of flesh and blood. Those of flesh and blood use sweet things to fix that which is bitter. But Hakadosh Baruch Hu uses bitter to heal that which is bitter.

Rav Weinberger said, based on this Midrash Tanchuma, that Hashem isn't just showing Moshe a tree. He's teaching him the proper way to conduct one's self when he comes into a situation of bitterness and difficulty. The natural human tendency is to run away from a difficult situation.

When you're in yeshiva and you end up in a shiur where the Rebbe doesn't smile a lot and you're learning a difficult sugya like Yevamos, the tendency of a Bachur (אותיות בורח) is to run away to a shiur where the learning is sweet. When one first gets married and there's a lot of fighting at the beginning, the tendency is to think maybe this wasn't meant to be. Rav Weinberger even quoted a letter he read by an 11th grader who said "I'm not so worried about what will happen if I marry a guy who isn't so nice. If it doesn't work out we can just get divorced." As another example, he didn't give this example, but it certainly applies to me. Whenever I drink coffee, which is inherently bitter, I use sweet Splenda to sweeten it.

Granted that there are situations when it is right and appropriate to leave a situation. There are marriages, yeshivos, etc. that are truly not right for a person. But the majority of the time, what really sweetens a situation is when you stick with it. When you try to sweeten the bitterness of the matzav with more of that bitterness. After sticking with it for a while, it becomes sweet. I was thinking that this is like the Gemara in Beiah 25b, which says "א"ר אלעזר ... כתורמוס הזה ששולקין אותו שבע פעמים ואוכלין אותו בקנוח סעודה...," that the bitter Turmus [a legume] must be boiled seven times before it becomes sweetened. But it is only through the difficulty of being boiled again and again, that it becomes sweet. And not by being soaked in honey.

Like anyone who has learned to get a geshmak out of learning Gemara can tell you, it's not sweet at the beginning. It's very tough. It's only after sticking with it for a few years, till you get past the language barrier, the concept barrier, and other difficulties, that the Gemara becomes sweet. It doesn't become sweet only by learning the easy parts of Torah and staying away from Gemara. It only loses its initial bitterness by soaking one's self in the bitterness until it becomes sweet.

Rav Weinberger was lamenting our aversion to difficulty. He told a story that one of his grandchildren (three years old) was in the room with his baby sister, who was crying. His mother (one of Rav Weinberger's daughters) was in the other room and overheard him telling his crying sister, "Don't cry! You're a Yid! And... you're religious!" She asked him later what it means to be "religious." He told her that it means that "You're a very Yid." It was a cute story, but it relates to the point that we have to be tough.

While there are definitely times where running away is the ratzon Hashem, the majority of the time, we have to stick with something. Only then will we taste true sweetness.

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Our Avodah During Shovavim - Fixing the Unfixable

Rabbi Reuven Boshnack was kind enough to share a shiur that he gave at a Melaveh Malka to a Sephardi chevra in Flatbush. It is on the topic of what our avodah is during this time of Shovavim. I think what he says in this shiur is really fundamental to understanding Teshuva and how we should approach those things which make teshuva seem either difficult or impossible. The shiur is really kedai. He handles a few sensitive topics so this shiur is for men only.

CLICK HERE to listen to this mp3 shiur by either left clicking to listen to the shiur right away or right clicking and selecting "Save Target As" to download.

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Rav Moshe Weinberger at Derech Hamelech - The Three Weeks

My friend David Levy has been kind enough to share with me this link to the audio of Rav Moshe Weinberger's drasha last week at Yeshivas Derech Hamelech in Yerushalayim. This is a yeshiva that he endorsed even before it was opened and was consulted by the great Rav who started the yeshiva, Rav Baruch Gartner all throughout the process of the yeshiva's formation. In this Drasha, Rav Weinberger teaches us what our avodah should be during this time of the Three Weeks. I spoke to a friend who was at the shiur and found it to be awesome.

You can listen to or download the mp3 of the shiur HERE.

-Dixie Yid

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How the Mitzvah of Matzah Repairs Blemishes in All Areas of "Eating"

This idea comes from the Koidinov Hagaddah, compiled from all of the Admorim of Koidinov by the current Koidinover Rebbe, Rav Yaakov Tzvi Mayer Erlich, Shltia, D"H "Ha lachma Anya." I have to thank Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin for indirectly causing me to have the zechus of getting ahold of this haggadah.

As we make our way out of Mitzrayim, Egypt, and towards Matan Torah, the giving of the Torah, it is worthwhile to think about what the Galus, exile, of Mitzrayim was there to repair.

The first blemish man created within himself was in the realm of eating, when Adam and Chava ate from the Eitz Hada'as Tov v'ra, the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Bad. After that, the generation of the flood caused another blemish in mankind, and after them, the generation of the dispersion caused another blemish. Rav Aharon of Koidinov, the grandson of the first Koidinover Rebbe, who was the grandson of Rav Mordechai of Lechovitch said that the purpose of the Egyptial Exile was to repair this blemish in the area of eating. And that Jewish boys being thrown into the Nile repaired the blemish caused by the generation of the flood. And by the Jews working with mortar and bricks, the blemish caused by the generation of the dispersion, whose sin was through building the tower of Bavel, was repaired. (This part is based on Likutei Torah by the Arizal, Parshas Shmos). Rav Aharon also taught, from the Sidur of the Arizal, that by the mitzva of eating matza, we repair the sin of Adam eatinf from the Eitz HaDaas.

And he teaches that this same tikun is applicable in our generation. When we eat matzah, we can repair all types of blemishes that we have brought upon ourselves that come under the rubric of "eating."

He points out that certainly problems with actual eating fall into this category. Also, he says that problems with kedusha in the area of marital intamacy are included in the concept of "eating." We see this from the fact that the pasuk uses this the concept of eating as a euphamism with regard to Potifar's appointment of Yosef over all of his affairs except, "halechem asher hu ocheil," the bread that he eats (Breishis 39:6). Also, he says that speech is part of the concept of eating, which can be seen from the fact that "speaking" is also used as a euphamism of martial initmacy, which, as we just said, is included in the concept of "eating." This can be seen from the fact that the Mishna, in Kesubos 13a, says "ראוה מדברת עם אחד," which Rav Asi there translates as "נבעלה."

And by eating matza on the night of the Seder, one is mesaken the blemishes one has caused through the three categories of activity, which fall under the rubric of "eating;" actual eating, marital intimacy and speech.

And this is the pshat in the phrase, "הא לחמנא עניא די אכלו אבהתנא בארעא דמצרים," "This is the bread of affliction that our fathers ate in the land of Mitzrayim," that we say at the beginning of the Seder. The word "ארעא," "land" actually comes from the root meaning "רצון," "desire," as in the phrase used to refer to Shalosh Sheudos, "רעוא דרעווין," which means "רצון שברצון," "desire of desires."

We also know that Mitzrayim actually refers to meitzarim, which means "borders" or limitations. So when we say that our fathers ate this bread in the land of mitzrayim, we're also saying that we used to eat bread (engage in the 3 types of activities which fall under the category called "eating") when our ratzon, our desires, were in meitzarim, limited and bound. And it was this level of stunted desire that caused us to be blemished in the way we ate, were involved in the marital relationship and spoke.

And it is through the mitzvah of achilas Matzah, eating matzah that we can completely repair these blemishes that exist within us in the areas called "eating."

May it be Hashem's will that through the mitzva of achilas Matzlah, both in the Pesach that we just completed, and the Pesachim to come, that we fulfill the mitzva of eating matzah with all of its tikunim and desired benefits!

-Dixie Yid

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The Origin of the Phrase "Lo Yidach Mimenu Nidach" - Anything Earlier?

I was looking for the origin of the phrase, "לא ידח ממנו נידח," "[Hashem] won't let anyone be left behind." It is used to mean that Hashem is always making plans and putting off bringing the geulah, the redemption, so that he kind find a way to make it so that when the geulah does come, no Jew will be left out.

After googling around, I was able to find this reference, which I linked to in this post. The author of that article said that the phrase came from the Ohr Hachaim Hakadosh regarding Pinchas. I found that reference in the Ohr Hachaim Hakadosh at the beginning of Parshas Pinchas, Bamidbar 25:14, "וְשֵׁם אִישׁ יִשְׂרָאֵל הַמֻּכֶּה אֲשֶׁר הֻכָּה אֶת-הַמִּדְיָנִית זִמְרִי בֶּן-סָלוּא נְשִׂיא בֵית-אָב לַשִּׁמְעֹנִי." "And the name of the Jewish man who was smitten, who was smitten with the Midianite woman, was Zimri ben Salu, prince of the tribe of Shimon."

The Ohr Hachaim is coming to explain why Zimri ben Salu is introduced with the complimentary phrase, "אִישׁ יִשְׂרָאֵל," "The Jewish man." One explanation he shares is that the Torah uses that phrase to show that even after what he had done with the Midianiate woman, he was still an "אִישׁ יִשְׂרָאֵל," fully part of the Jewish people. Like I referred to in this post, no matter how low a Jew has fallen, Hashem never forgets about him and is always making plans about how to return that person back to their root, the place where they belong.

In this vein, the Ohr Hachaim says, in the name of the "Mekubalim Hakadmonim," the earlier Kabbalists, that "לא ידח ממנו נידח," no Jew will be pushed aside or left behind and that every Jewish spark will be returned to its source in holiness. He says that even if a Jew is deserving of being killed, he will still br brought back.

I don't know if this idea originally comes from the Zohar or some other earlier source. But if anyone else knows, please let me know!

-Dixie Yid

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What to Do When You Lose Your "Self-Motivation"

Click on over to A Simple Jew for our latest Q&A session. Here's ASJ's question and you can follow the link to see my answer.

A Simple Jew asks:

In our e-mail correspondence you indicated that you too have experienced the "lego castle phenomenon" in regards to your learning. After the thrill of starting something new slowly wears off have you found it to be difficult to maintain a daily learning regimen?

Dixie Yid Answers...

-Dixie Yid

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Birthday Tikunim and Ta'avos

Parshas Vayeshev, Shishi - Part II at A Simple Jew

The Rebbe then told me that the Arizal said this taiva is something that every person struggles with since it is THE nisayon of our generation.

-Dixie Yid

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Uplifting Fallen Ahava/Love - Meor Einayim on Toldos

The Meor Einayim, Rav Nachum from Chernobyl, has a beautiful pshat which sheds a light on the deeper meaning of the pasuk at the beginning of Parshas Toldos, "וְאֵלֶּה תּוֹלְדֹת יִצְחָק, בֶּן-אַבְרָהָם: אַבְרָהָם, הוֹלִיד אֶת-יִצְחָק." (Breishis 25:19) He says that the gemara says that whenever the pasuk says "אֵלֶּה," it is separating that pasuk from the ones before, and whenever it says "וְאֵלֶּה," it is embrassing what came before and adding something new (Quoted by Rashi at the beginning of Parshas Mishpatim).

On this, he asks: It should have said "אֵלֶּה!" The psukim before were about the progeny of Yishmael. Rather than embrassing and adding onto that idea by saying "וְאֵלֶּה," the Torah should have said "אֵלֶּה," to separate the Avos from Yishmael!

But he goes on to explain that Yishmael is "Ahava Nafula," "fallen/misdirected love." Avraham was the pinnacle of the mida of Ahava, love, and Chesed, kindness. He had two children. Yitzchak was the good side, and Yishmael was the bad side/misdirected application of Avrhaham's mida of love and chesed. He was the "psoles," undesirable byproduct, of Avraham's trait of lovingkindness.

In what way does Ahava nafula (fallen/misdirected love) manifest its self? The Gemara says that when Hashem offered the Torah to the nation of Yishmael, they asked what was in it. When Hashem told them that it contained the prohibition against adultery (i.e. the general concept of sexual morality), they said that they could just not handle that. This seems strange in our eyes. We see the people of Yishmael as more focused on killing people and covering up their wives to sublimate any sense of sexual immorality. So how can the Gemara say that their whole livlihood is sexual immorality? Well why do they keep all of their Sharia laws and engage in mass-murder in the name of Jihad? It's all so they can indulge in their basest desires with their 72 virgins after 120. Sexual immorality is their desire behind everything. And this type of immorality is the expression of fallen Chesed/Ahava (kindness/love).

This is seen from the fact that the Torah says about one of the kinds of forbidden sexual relationships, "Chesed hu." This demonstrates that sexual immorality is the expresssion of misplaced chesed/love/kindness.

Rashi brings down on the pasuk quoted above that the scoffers of the generation were saying "Me'AviMelech Nisabra Sara," (that Sara was made pregnant by AviMelech during her "stay" with the Plishtim, and therefore, to prove them wrong, Hashem made Yitzchak look just like Avraham.

The Meor Einayim says an amazing thing: The deeper meaning of the Midrash Rashi quoted was to say that the people were saying that it was Hashem (Avi Melech = My Father [the] King) who planted the Ahava Nafula, the misplaced/fallen love, into the human body (Sara = the Guf- Zohar Chadash). Therefore, they said, "What can we do? Hashem placed these all-too-human desires into the human body, and therefore, how can we fight it? There's nothing we can do!"

The Meor Einayim says that in order to counteract that spurious claim of the scoffers, the Midrash means that Hashem made Yitzchak, the real progeny of Sara and Avraham, look just like Avraham. This means that indeed we are infused with combinations of the true Ahava, Ahavas Hashem, and fallen Ahava, the desire for sexual immorality. We are not supposed to just accept and follow the Ahava nafula within us. Rather, Hashem made Yitzchak, the child of Avraham, look just like him to teach that the things that we love should be made to look like their true source above, Ahavas Hashem (like Avraham, in the mashal). We must elevate our natural loves, not only the obviously good kinds, but also the destructive, negative kinds and direct those desires towards Ahavas Hashem, the true object of our love, before the mida was perverted and misdirected to other places.

This is why the pasuk says "וְאֵלֶּה," rather than "אֵלֶּה." We are not supposed to dismiss the progeny of Yishmael, the Ahava nafula. Rather, we are supposed to build upon it and correct it by directing our Ahava toward Hashem, and not let the Ahava Nafula placed within our bodies misdirect the Ahava within us toward bad places.

May Hashem help us embrace the midos and Ahava and Chesed within ourselves and direct them toward their true source, Hashem Himself.

-Dixie Yid

(Picture courtesy of Gordaen's Blog)

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Simchas Torah Challenges – "Getting Into" the Dancing

With some encouragement from A Simple Jew, I wanted to put an issue I’m grappling with out there on the table. To state it plainly, I currently find it difficult to ever “get into” the dancing in almost any venue. Aside from two specific events per year, I generally struggle with a feeling of coldness and apathy when it comes to various situations that relate to rikudim. Whether it’s a Chasuna, or dancing on simchas Torah, I generally have a general lack of enthusiasm. When it comes to weddings, unless I am very close to a Chossan, I face this problem.

On the first night of Shmini Atzeres, I went out of my way to daven at a Shul where they do not do Chassidishe hakafos on the first night of Shmini Atzeres. That way, I would only “have” to dance on Simchas Torah its self. When my children were there, I certainly made a great effort to have some great dancing during that time, and the rest of the time, I participated as well, but not with a lot of feeling.

Something that I found very helpful was the fact that the rabbi of my Shul gave us a nice pep talk before the dancing the at night with two sets of kavanos regarding what the avoda of the dancing is about and what it accomplishes. You can read that advice HERE. It was a huge chizuk to know what to think about and I was thankful to have a rabbi who'll lead us along what we need to be doing and thinking about during a mitzva. Although even knowing what great things are hanging in the balance during the dancing, I still had that coldness that is so difficult to shake off during the dancing.

When it comes to intellectual things, even emotionally connected things, like Torah, Chassidus, Gemara, etc. I have no problem getting into it most of the time. The problem arises when I try to connect my intellectual knowledge with my emotions. That’s a great challenge for me and it is something I’m working on in general with the derech avoda of the Bilvavi seforim. It all comes back to one of the messages in my current favorite pasuk from Devarim 4:39, “וְיָדַעְתָּ הַיּוֹם, וַהֲשֵׁבֹתָ אֶל-לְבָבֶךָ, כִּי יְהוָה הוּא הָאֱלֹהִים, בַּשָּׁמַיִם מִמַּעַל וְעַל-הָאָרֶץ מִתָּחַת: אֵין, עוֹד..” It’s the old difficulty of connecting the וְיָדַעְתָּ הַיּוֹם to the וַהֲשֵׁבֹתָ אֶל-לְבָבֶךָ.

Anyone else facing this? How have you handled it or how would you like to handle it?

-Dixie Yid

(Video is a great one of the Melitzer Rebbe having no problems "getting into" the dancing with his then-new son in law, at a Sheva Brachos in Ashdod.)

Even Our Mistakes Will Not Be Wasted

R’ Mordechai Yosef from Izbitz gives us an amazing teaching in Parshas Ki Seitzei, which really gives a person hope that nothing into which they invested love, interest, and sacrifice throughout their lives is lost. Even those things that weren’t right will still be redeemed and shown to have had a place.

He teaches us this by going through the whole seder haparsha, starting with the Eishes Yifas Toar. He starts out by pointing saying that the lashon “v’chashakta bah,” is a very strong word to use for “desire”. He also points that the Torah isn’t geared towards the lowest common denominator of people. Therefore, we’re talking about a person who is holy, a Tzadik which’s fighting in this milchemes reshus, and who is someone who has separated himself from ta’ava and worldy desire. Therefore, when he finds himself with a cheishek, a very strong desire for this woman, he truly sees in this some hashgacha pratis, that such a desire is not a product of his own cultivation of ta’avos, but rather it must be that he really sees something good in her and that is why he’s drawn to her. So he takes her according to the laws of the Eishes Yifas Toar.

It turns out though that she isn’t the hidden Tzadekes that he thought she was. And he’s now not only very disappointed in this fact, but he is also quite upset at himself that he was attracted to her to begin with. He worries that perhaps there was nothing good that he really saw in her and maybe he was just having a stam ta’ava for her, and that that desire he had for what he thought was the good within her was just an illusiory trick of the yetzer hara. However, he comforts himself by saying that it must be that they were have a good son together and that this would turn out well

But unfortunately, this man is beset by tragedy again and his son turns out to be a ben Sorer U’moreh. He has to take his son to the Beis Din and watch them kill him for stealing a little meat and wine. Now, he truly feels broken. Now, he can’t even look to their son as the nekuda tova that came out of his wife whom he originally desired. He really feels now that it was all for nothing.

But Hashem comforts him in three ways.

#1: He sees that after his son is executed, his body is hung. However, the Torah says it must be removed before nightfall, "ki Kilelas Elokim Talui." This means that even this person who deserved to be executed is still called a tzelem Elokim to the extent that it would be a Chilul Hashem to let his body just hang there. So he sees that in fact the son did posess a tzelem Elokim and that there was, therefore, a nekuda tova in him that only now, in the fulfillment of this halacha of removing his body after execution, is that fact of his tzelem Elokim revealed.

#2: The halacha for why he is executed after merely stealing some wine and meat is, "Tamus Zakai v'al tamus chayav." That means that the Torah is testifying that at this point in his son's life, he is called, "Zakai." Innocent. And this fact of his "zakai" status is only revealed in the ben sorer u'morer process. So the birur, clarification of the good in him is thus revealed in the halacha of ben sorer or morer its self.

#3: Later in the parsha, we have the halacha of Hashavas Ha'aveida. This means that lost objects must be returned. That cheishek that he had originally for the Eishes Yifas Toar feels to him like a "lost object," something which went for nothing. The halacha of hashavas aveida comforts this man by teaching him that Hashem will return every lost desire, decision, or mistake. Hashem will show him that in the end, based on #1 and #2 above, his original cheishek will be vindicated as having a purpose.

The Ish Hayisraeli is a chashuv thing and originates from the highest places in Shamayim. He would not have a cheishek unless it was directed at something truly good. It does not look this way on the outside, but the good points that one might be attracted to are often hidden in the lowest things. Many might be attracted to the "fallen" form of that nekuda tova. But deep inside, the only reason a Jew can be attacted to that thing in the first place is because of the true, good root of that nekuda tova.

May Hashem lift up and cleanse all of the ta'avos nefulos that we have had redeem those "lost" desires and energies that we have spent!

-Dixie Yid

(Painting is of the "Valley of the Dry Bones" - same message!)

Bilvavi Translation, Chassidic Tish'n, & Other Links

Heichal Hanegina has a great post from the Trisker Magid on a reason for the practice of the Chassidish Tish. It dovetails quite nicely with Rabbi Tal Zwecker's guest posting at At Simple Jew, as well.

Also, "My Friend Yaakov," has written a translation of the Bilvavi author's first video shiur, a link to which is available in my Bilvavi links on the right sidebar. That translation can be found here, at Bilvavi.net. If you read and benefit from the translation, please either e-mail me or the folks at Bilvavi.net from their site, and let us know. If there is interest, he will produce more translations for you to benefit from.

Bilvavi Video 4 is now up and available here, as well as being available anytime in the Bilvavi links section on the right sidebar right here. Also, big news for those of you in Eretz Yisroel, you have the chance to spend a whole Shabbos with the author of the Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh seforim July 13-14. Click here for more information to participate in that awesome opportunity. I wish I was in E"Y now!

-Dixie Yid

My Q & A Session with A Simple Jew

Please click over to A Simple Jew to read the answer he posted that I had written to a question he posed to me, entitled, Kedusha and Man-Made Objects.

I'll just quote his question here:

A Simple Jew asks:

According to halacha, if one has a choice between toiveling a utensil in a river or toiveling it in a keilim mikvah, it is preferable to use the keilim mikvah. In essence, we are saying that it is better to use something created by man over something created by Hashem in order to imbue an object with kedusha. How can one explain this?

-Dixie Yid

Getting Up Before the Yetzer Hara

A friend of mine told his uncle, who's the Menahel of a Seminary in Eretz Yisroel what time I get up each morning. He then told me a vort from the Chidah, Rav Chaim Yosef Dovid Azulai.

It says in the gemara, "Haboh l'horgecha, hashkaim l'horgo. (Sanhedrin 72a)" (If one comes to kill you, get up to kill him first.) And who comes to kill you each day? The Yetzer Hara. (Kiddushin 30b)He says, therefore, that when you get up very early each morning, it's a segula that you'll get up to beat the Yetzer Hara before it get you!

-Dixie Yid

Picture courtesy of Answers.com