Reb Nochum Chernobyler in the first piece on parshas Shmos in Meor Einayim makes reference to something he talks about often. He says that a person's chiyus, his state of being spiritually leibidig ebbs and flows. One's spiritual level is in a constant state of "Ratzo v'shov."
Rebbe Nachman in Likutei Moharan also says that one must be "Baki b'ratzo, baki b'shov." That means that just like you have to do well and accomplish a lot in your "up" times, you have to be an expert in how to navagate your spiritually down, unmotivated times as well. Because if not, you can fall very very far.
I'm feeling now like over the last few weeks generally, I'm in an "up," "ratzo," time. What I'm wondering is this: Like the Meor Einayim said, Tzadikim and beinonim will always go through up and down times. So I know the time of me feeling unmotivated and down spiritually can't be that far off. But I'd like to take on something new now for me to keep with me, as unmotivated as I might feel at that time, when I'm in the "shov" period.
Rebbe Nachman says in Likutei Moharan Tinyana 48 that when you're in the "down" period, even though you feel like you're totally not worthy, nevertheless just hold on tight to the things that you've taken on and are keeping, even if it makes you feel hypocritical. Just brace your self and hold on to what you have till that wave passes over you. So to me, each new thing I can take on for real while I'm riding that positive "ratzo" wave, will be something I'll force myself to keep with me every time I'm in the process of being washed away again.
That way, I will IY"H be washed a little less far with each yerida. One of my rebbes says in the name of Reb Tzadok Hakohen that you don't measure a person by how great he is when he's in his "ratzo" period. Rather you measure him by how great he his when he's down. The true measure of who I am is how high up I can lift that lowest point that I hit in each yerida.
So I better come up with an idea for my new point of growth soon before that yerida hits!