Thursday, January 19, 2012

New Baby Eitzah's

It's been a long while since I have posted. Baruch Hashem we had a new son (Benyamin Chaim) and life has been very busy. My wife prodded me last night and said since you have not posted on Dixie Yid in a while ask for a eitzah.

So here it is: I am having a hard time holding my early morning seder and again this morning missed both my chabura and minyan. It is not like me to sleep through a alarm but I am simply drained and not sleeping. Can anyone provide some practical advice?

Picture courtesy of Marc's iPhone of his new son. Click here to get Dixie Yid in your e-mail Inbox or here to subscribe in Google Reader.


Anonymous said...

Mazel Tov! Mazel Tov! Great news!!! Chasdei Hashem!!!

If you understand hebrew, listen to Rav Arush's CD entitled "Me Atah" ("Who Are You"). If you want it, respond to this post and I'll get it to you.

Every "failure" (for example, not being able to get up for seder) is a reminder from Hashem that, BH, we are NOTHING! Understanding this is the tachlis of life! It is a practical manifestation of "shiviti Hashem L'negdi tamid", "ein od Milvado", "b'chal derachecha dei'ehu", deera b'tachtonim", etc...

It is the ultimate anivus, which is precisely the point of what we're doing here! At the end of the Torah Hashem praises Moshe for his HUMILITY, not for being a Gaon, Tzadik, Super-Navi, etc..., rather Moshe Rabbeinu's biggest praise is that he knew that he was NOTHING!!!

Thank Hashem for the gentle reminder that you are NOTHING and without His help you can't do a thing (BH!) and ask him to help you to be able to do the right thing, whether that means maintaining your schedule or changing it a bit to fit in your responsibilities to the family (and especially to your wife and new-born child).

Mazel Tov! Mazel Tov on the baby and on the yeridah! May it be a yeridah l'tzorech the ultimate aliyah.

And don't forget to listen to teh CD!!!

DixieYid (يهودي جنوبي) said...

Mazel tov Marc! It was great seeing you on the train this morning. May you be zoche to much learning for you, your son, your whole family and all of klal Yisroel!


Thank you for the idea and it's certainly applicable to many different topics so IY"H I'll take it to heart as well. I really appreciate that.

Kol tuv!

Marc said...

Thank you so much! would love the shiur. how can i get it?

Anonymous said...


Mazal Tov!

My friends asked the Goan, HaRav, HaTzadik, HaMekubal, Rav Yaakov Meir Shechter of Breslov Yerushalyim, what he should do in order to wake up better in the morning. He too was sleeping in and finding it very hard to get up.

Rav Yaakov Meir told him to not eat meat by night, to eat a big lunch and a very small dinner, only fruits, nuts, salad etc.

When I am having a hard time with mornings I always put my alarm on the otherside of the room - basic, but good

hatzlocha raba and a gut shabbos koidesh

Anonymous said...

Mazel-tov, my advice is enjoy! Children grow all to fast.

Dan said...

Well a great morning starts with a great goodnight, so look at how you go to bed in the evening, and try and get at least six hours. What helps me on Shabbos, is setting multiple alarms , could work for you here.

Anonymous said...

Umm... I am sorry to go against the grain of the recent comments but I have a very different perspective here. Be human- modify your schedule. Yes, don't learn so much- stop expecting so much of yourself. Hashem has sent you the most beautiful Bracha in the world- a new child. Cherish him and cherish Him but don't beat yourself up.

Someone once asked R'Yisroel from Rizhin the following question: I am a poor man and have always had to spend a lot of time working to make a little money. I can forgive (Kaviyochol) Hashem for the lack of food, health, proper shelter, physical needs and pleasure. But how can I forgive Hashem for how all the suffering affected my davening and my learning? All my challenges n life help me back from my Avodas Hashem! The Rizhiner asked him (as all good Jewish questions are answered with a question) Who told you which is more important in the eyes of Hashem- your davening and learning or your challenges and suffering? Maybe Hashem wants your suffering and hard work more than he wants your davening. We have a common misconception of thinking that Hashem only wants our ruchniyus while He sends us so much Gashmius as a challenge. Your challenge might be to give up your davening and learning the way you used to do so...

Neil Harris said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Neil Harris said...

Mazel Tov.
I am also a user of multiple alarms- when I don't sleep through them. Understanding that you NEED to get to sleep earlier in order to get up earlier is easier said than done. Just ask me or my 12 yr old son. He constantly complains that leaving at 7 am to get to school for minyan at 7:30 is just too early and he is missing out on his sleep. We've suggested that he "go to sleep earlier" but in his mind that isn't an option.

An incentive to get up (aside from davening with a minyan) can help, too.

Rav Dessler zt'l recalls when he was very young getting up in the morning on Shabbos to learn with his father learn with his father before davening and getting to eat a cake-like treat and a hot drink prior to going to shul. This is his classic example of She'lo lishma, bo lishma. He knew that he was getting up for the treat/hot drink, but eventually that ceased to be the ikar.

Maybe buying something special to eat after minyan?

Yishai said...

Mazel tov! In my experience, which I believe is replicated at least in part by scientific studies, when I don't get enough sleep I'm a) more irratable, thus more likely to sin by being angry, impatient or hurting others with words; b) a worse driver, so theoretically more likely to cause an accident and hurt someone or myself; c) less happy in general, and find it difficult to serve Hashem with joy; d) harder to concentrate, including on prayer and Torah study and hitbodedut, e) more likely to get sick because immune system is weakened; f) more likely to waste time rather than spend my time wisely.

Chazal and later tzaddikim have many statements about the importance of not sleeping too much, but that was all before the invention of electric lighting and the various electronic devices that distract us from sleep today. Back then, I'm sure many people slept too much, and this kept people from doing all the Torah study and mitzvot observance that they should have. Today, that may be true for some people too, but I think more people get not enough sleep, and this harms their divine service by making them depressed, unenthusiastic and grumpy.

There's a story about Reb Zuscha. He normally made sure not to sleep too much so that he had lots of time for all the spiritual practices he engaged in. But one day he slept in a very long time. He remarked that he was able to serve Hashem much better than on other days.

This is an important story for our age. In my opinion it's better to have 15 minutes of Torah study alone with joy and full concentration than an hour with a chavrusa without joy and concentration.

Regardless, I hope you're able to return to your normal schedule again soon!

Marc said...

Yasher Koach to everyone's advice. Every perspective is valuable and has helped me immensely. Thank you!