New Breslov Research Institute Pamphlet for Elul - Highly Recommended

I definitely recommend that everyone download this e-booklet, Elul, Returning to Hashem, put together by the Breslov Research Insitute (with whom I'll be spending the two days before Rosh Hashana in Uman!).

There is a very direct and straight-to-the-point essay Page 13 of the booklet by my friend A Simple Jew called "Rushing to Get to Infinity: An Open Letter to Myself." A must-read for Elul.

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New Book in English by Rabbi Tal Zwecker - Returnity

Rabbi Tal Zwecker just came out with a new sefer in English which collects teachings by many of the tzadikim expanding on the concept of teshuva. It's called Returnity and is available for about $16 including shipping and handling. It's 112 pages and is softcover.

 

May everyone have a productive Elul!

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Did You do the Aveira You Heard about?

It is known that the Baal Shem Tov taught, based on the fact of hashgacha pratis over every detail of creation, that when ones witnesses another person committing an aveira, he must not view it as an unfortunate coincidence that he just "happened" to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and that's why he witnessed the sin. Rather, Hashem caused him to see the aveira in order to do him a favor by communicating to him that he has also done that aveira, or some lesser form of the aveira. He must therefore examine his deeds and heart in order to determine what his sin was so that he may do teshuva for it.

A couple of years ago, on the Shabbos when we read this week's parsha, Tazria-Metzora, Rav Weinberger took this concept to another level. He quoted, also in the name of the Baal Shem Tov, an amazing extension of the aforementioned concept. He taught based on one of the psukim in that parsha (something along the lines of "v'shav hakohein el beiso") that after the kohein examines the Metzora or helps him with his purification process, the kohein must then look within himself for his spiritual faults. Why? Tzara'as, we know, is the result of various sins. When the kohein meets someone with Tzara'as, he either hears about or sees the effects of sin (even though he did not witness the sin itself). He therefore must examine himself to see how he has commited a sin simmilar to the one committed by the Metzora.

As I was thinking about this extension of the more well known principle of the Baal Shem Tov to situations where one did not see an aveira, but "merely" hears about it or sees its effects, I thought that I can understand this as applied to someone like me, whose job (bankruptcy attorney) does not inherently involve hearing about aveiros. But some people have jobs that inherently involve listening to people reveal their and others' aveiros all day, every day! Do people like my Rebbe or therapists have to sit down at the end of the day, every day, and ask themselves how they have committed something like the sixteen aveiros they heard about that day at work?

Can it be that the Baal Shem Tov's principle is mechayev such a vast introspection so frequently for such people? Or was this only meant for people who irregularly see or hear about aveiros, like me, such that each one is more of a chidush? This is my question on this issue, so I decided to ask three people who study chassidus/penimius haTorah, who are also mental health professionals, this question (a psychologist, a social worker, and a psychiatrist). They all work with adults and very frequently hear about and see the effects of very serious aveiros.

I asked them whether they think the Baal Shem Tov's teaching was meant to apply to people like them who work in fields which inherently come across many more aveiros than other types of baalabatim. I thought that the general response I would get would be that it was unimaginable that the principle applied equally to people in their situation because if it did, how could such an approach be sustainable? "Derache'ha darchei noam." But I was surprised by the reactions.

The heilige Yidden who work as a psychiatrist and a social worker, respectively, both responded that they thought it did apply to them, and that they needed to work more on self-introspection to see how their clients' sins applied to them as well so that they could repair more of their internal faults.

The third person I spoke to. Rabbi Dr. Binyomin Tepfer, a psychologist, took issue with the assumption my question was based on.

He shared a teaching from Rav Yaakov Moshe Charlap, from Mei Marom, the talmid muvhak of Rav Kook, on the fact that Rivka was able to see Eisav's evil, but Yitzchak was not able to. He said that even though Rivka was a tzadekes, because she grew up in the house of a rasha, she had more of a shaychus to what evil was, and was therefore able to identify it in Eisav. Yitzchak, on the other hand, grew up in the house of a tzadik, Avraham Avinu, and in Eretz Hakodesh, the holy land, so he had no shaychus to evil. He may have heard about or witnessed evil acts, but he did not have the keilim, the tools, to process them, and probably attributed them to some factors external to Eisav, but not as a reflection of his true nature.

R. Dr. Tepfer said that he understood the Baal Shem Tov's teaching in a similar way. The issue is not whether light waves carrying an image of a person sinning reach a person's optic nerves, or whether sound waves carrying the sound of a person admitting a sin reach his ears. The issue is whether he really *sees* or really *hears* the aveira. If a kohein is a tzadik, he will not truly see the nega, the blemish, in the person who comes to him. He will just see a tzadik in front of him who, nebach, has some flaws covering his true self, which are completely external to his true nature.

Similarly, even for someone who regularly sees or hears about aveiros, the question is whether he sees the people in front of him as being truly deficient, as having nega'i'm, blemishes, as part of their identities. If a therapist or Rav has done teshuva for everything which is even similar to his client's sin, however, he looks at the clients or the people who come to him as really good, but who, unfortunately, have been damaged, and just need some (or a lot) of help to shed that external shell from themselves in order to reveal their true nature as holy Jews.

I have not yet been able to ask Rav Weinberger this question yet, but I did want to share my friends' insights into this very practical question.

IY"H, may we all be zoche to do teshuva so that no matter what happens outside of ourselves, we will only see the good in others.

Net Operating Losses and Teshuvah

Net operating losses are very valuable to a business. Although it seems counter intuitive that losing money, whether on paper or in real life, could be valuable, it is a business reality that exists because of the tax code.

Those net operating losses ("NOLs") incurred one year can be used to offset income in other years as long as the business hasn't used up those NOLs yet. Because the Internal Revenue Code ("IRC") allows a business to "carry forward" those NOLs for a number of subsequent years, the NOLs can save a company a lot of money over time.

Azoi shtait in the IRC that this heter to carry forward NOLs only exists if the company's stock or creditors don't change hands too much, which would constitute a "management change."

A bankrupt entity, which understandably usually has significant NOLs, guards its NOLs carefully by moving to enter a "NOL Trading Motion" to prohibit or limit shareholders' and creditors' ability to trade in their claims or interests, lest such trades cause a "management change," thus endangering the tax benefits of those precious losses.

I was thinking that this concept shows that even the world is aware of the concept that past losses can benefit a person. We know this is true spiritually because the gemara in Yuma 86b says that with teshuvah me'ahava, the highest level of transformative teshuvah, zadonos, willful sins (like net operating losses a person lives with) are transformed into zechuyos, merits.

At first glance, losses do not seem to be valuable on a physical or spiritual level. It's something one just wants to put in the past. But by continuing to do teshuva for past sins, out of a feeling of wanting to be closer to Hashem, those losses turn into gains.

Similarly, although it is counter intuitive, even the world has the external concept of the benefits of past losses, which perhaps reflects the inner reality of "zadonos na'asin lo k'zachios."

Have a happy Adar! May all of our zadonos undergo a "v'nafoch hu!"

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Tanya on Fear/Embarrassment - "And They Saw 'Ki Boshesh Moshe'"

In Rav Weinberger's Tanya shiur this morning, we were learning the section in the 4th perek where the Alter Rebbe discusses the higher level of Yiras Hashem called "yiras boshes," the fear relating to embarrassment or shame. This is in contrast to the lower level of fear (though halevai we should attain it) called yiras ha'onesh, fear of punishment.

Yiras Boshes is the contemplation and recognition of Hashem's greatness and the concomitant feeling of smallness and nothingness, along with a feeling of embarrassment and shame because of a person's actions which have concealed that greatness and strengthened the forces if impurity in the world.

When healthy, this feeling will lead to a desire to come back to Hashem, and not to hide away and stay distant because of the shame. This is why, Rav Weinberger explained, the word "busha," embarrassment, has the same letters as ther word "shuva," to return.

I asked him after the shiur if this aspect of busha is related to the pasuk in Ki Sisa that the Jews saw "ki boshesh Moshe," that Moshe was delayed. The word for delayed there has the same shoresh as the word for embarrassment. He explained that the underlying shoresh means "distance." So distance in time is "delay" and distance in relationships is "shame."

I was thinking that perhaps the Torah uses the word "boshesh" rather than any other word for delay to illustrate the bad side of busha, shame. The Jews at that time went after the wrong side of busha. That feeling of shame/distance can lead to two opposite reactions. It can make a person want to come back closer, or it can make the person run away further. The Jews, by the chet ha'egel, the sin of the golden calf, reacted to the feeling of distance personified by Moshe's perceived delay in coming down from Har Sinai by running away from Hashem and building the egel. The Torah, therefore, used the word "boshesh" here, instead of "hismame'ah" or something else, to teach "how not" to react to the feeling of busha.

IY"H, may we all be zoche to attain an awareness of Hashem such that we will feel busha and return to Hashem before we even think of doing anything against His will.

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The Greatness of Teshuva and the After-Effects of Sin

One reason for my paucity of postings recently over the past number of months are the paltry presence of pauses in the perpetual amount of work I have to do.

When I am able eke out a thought about something I would like to share, I just don't have the time to write and provide sources the way I would like to. I think that a post has a lot less "value added" when it expresses what could be described as a mere "boich svorah."

Nonetheless, this blog is dead if I don't even share what little I have to share from time to time so here's one thing I was thinking about at the end of last week on parshas Ki Sisa:

A couple of things popped out at my as requiring an explanation. One is that Moshe comes down from Har Sinai after 40 days of communion with G-d without food or water shining with light after his second time on Har Sinai, but not after the first time when he received the whole Torah. Why only the second time? It would seem that the revelation of the whole Torah would be a bigger experience than achieving forgiveness for the sin of the egel hazahav.

The second thing that bothered me a bit was Moshe's mask and moving outside the Jewish people's encampment. While we hear about Moshe judging the people and people coming to him before this, there was, I think, a lessened ability for Moshe to relate to the people after Moshe's face began shining with light and people could only being able to talk to him if he wore a mask. It's kind of hard to become close to a person who's speaking to you from behind a mask (an observation which is true for both literal and figurative masks). Also, Moshe no longer even lived among the Jewish people because he went outside the camp and the only time a person could see or speak to Moshe was if he was a "mevakesh Hashem" and went outside the camp to Moshe's tent, the "tent of meeting."

It occurred to me that as great as the hisgalus Hashem must have been for Moshe to receive the Torah, and as high in shamayim as Moshe must have gone to bring the Torah down to the earth, this did not create the beams of light for Moshe, and it did not create a big separation between him and the Jewish people.

But attaining mechila, forgiveness, for the Jewish people, did accomplish that. This perhaps means that Moshe had to ascend even higher than the Torah during his second sojourn on Har Sinai to achieve forgiveness for the Jews for the cheit ha'eigel. It shows that Teshuva comes from an even deeper place than Torah. But that mechila came with a price for the Jewish people though. It created a separation between the Jews and Hashem (because He told them he would no longer lead them in the desert, but that an angel would instead) and it created a separation between themselves and Moshe (who then could only talk to them through a mask and who had to move out of the encampment of the Jewish people).

Teshuva is the highest thing in the world but it comes with a price. Even after teshuva does its miraculous work, the aveira still leaves its mark and creates a separation that cannot quite be bridged. Better not to create the separation to begin with...

P.S. This point is presumably only true for regular teshuva, teshuva meyirah, as opposed to the much more difficult level of teshuva me'ahava. cf. Yuma 86b, "אמר ריש לקיש גדולה תשובה שזדונות נעשות לו כשגגות שנאמר (הושע יד) שובה ישראל עד ה' אלהיך כי כשלת בעונך הא עון מזיד הוא וקא קרי ליה מכשול איני והאמר ריש לקיש גדולה תשובה שזדונות נעשות לו כזכיות שנאמר (יחזקאל לג) ובשוב רשע מרשעתו ועשה משפט וצדקה עליהם <חיה> [הוא] יחיה לא קשיא כאן מאהבה כאן מיראה."

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Very Cool Article by Journalist After Attending Her Baalas Teshuva Cousin's Chasuna

Rachel Leavitt, Politics Daily: Laughter, Self-Discovery, and a Transatlantic, Nine-Hour Haredi Wedding

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The Simcha of Teshuva - Audio Shiur by Rabbi Judah Mischel

Shiur by Rabbi Judah Mischel at Sha'alvim entitled, "The Simcha of Teshuva."

CLICK HERE to get the shiur.

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Why I'm not Ready For Rosh Hashana - Audio Shiur by R' Reuven Boshnack

This shiur was given by Rabbi Boshnack yesterday at Queens College. Kedai to listen fi you can!

CLICK HERE to get the shiur.

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Elul & Teshuva - Audio Shiur by Rabbi Eli Wolf

Ron Samet has been kind enough to share with us a shiur by R' Eli Wolf on Elul and Teshuva that connects to last week's parsha. It's kedai to listen!

CLICK HERE to listen/download.

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Cleansing That Which is Soiled

For the second time on Monday, we noticed that our four year old son had washed his disposable bowl and spoon before throwing them away. I was highly amused by this since it would seem pointless to me to wash something that will be thrown in the garbage in a minute anyway. So I asked him why he was washing them even though he was about to throw them away?

He answered me that he just likes to make dirty things clean. G-d willing he should always be that way!

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Fighting Against "Lust Addiction" A Website to Help

Guard Your Eyes.com - HT Avakesh. From their website:

Welcome to the GuardYourEyes community, a vibrant network and fellowship of religious Jews of all affiliations, struggling to purify themselves and break free from inappropriate behaviors stemming from Lust addiction.

With the advance of technology and the ease of availability and privacy that the internet provides, it has become a daily struggle for many religious Jews to remain Erlich (morally and ethically upright) even in their own homes. Jewish Leaders, Rabbis and Experts worldwide, are beginning to speak out about this serious problem more and more.

Our network is comprised of a website: www.guardureyes.com, a dynamic blog-site (under development) at www.guardyoureyes.org that offers new material, tips, stories and articles each day, RSS feeds (coming soon) and a pulsating forum where members post logs of their journeys to recovery, ask questions and exchange tons of Chizuk with the rest of the community. Besides this, the GYE network provides weekly phone conferences, hotlines - both in the U.S and Israel, and two daily Chizuk e-mails, 1. “Learning how to break free of lust addiction” and 2. “General Chizuk in guarding the eyes”. We also help people find accountability partners and sponsors.

For the first time, a religious Jew has where to turn to for help in this area, as well as an entire network of tools, tips and group support to help break free from the insidious grasp of this addiction. All our work is free of charge (although donations are our life-line) and we zealously protect the complete anonymity of our members. On our forum, charts and on the hotlines and weekly phone conferences, only pseudo-names and non-revealing e-mail addresses are used. For starters, you may want to make yourself an anonymous e-mail address before joining our community (something like baLetaher@gmail.com).

With the guidance of R’ Avraham J. Twerski, a world renowned expert on addictions, author of over 50 books and a true Gadol in Klal Yisrael, we present a set of guidelines to help anyone, no matter how far they have fallen, to find their way out of the vicious cycle of Lust addiction.

Our sages have called Shmiras Habris “Yesod”, meaning “Foundation”. The foundation of a building is “underground” and no one sees it, yet it holds up the entire building! Shmiras Habris is the hidden part of a Jew, it’s the real you. If the foundation of a Jew is weak, his whole spiritual structure is in grave danger of collapse. At GYE we are finally joining together, for ourselves and for all future generations, to strengthen the foundations of our people.

This area has been Taboo in the religious community for far too long. There is such a desperate need for our work today. Finally people are finding that they are not alone and that there is true hope in overcoming this addiction.

The very fabric of our society is at stake here. Families are literally being destroyed. Husbands, wives and children are all being affected in some way. The ease of accessibility and privacy that the internet provides, is the all out attack of Amalek in our generation.

At GuardYourEyes we are saving lives and marriages every day - literally, not to mention giving people back their sanity, self-respect and connection to spirituality, all of which they had given up for lost, thinking that they had no hope to ever break free… See here for how wide spread this epidemic seems to be in the religious community today.

And please see here for Testimonials of how our network is helping people all the time. See as well the testimonial section of our new site over here. And download a PDF file of the latest testimonials, just from this past March and April, 2009, over here.

Is there anywhere else in the world where one can find such an awakening of such deep levels of Teshuvah and closeness to Hashem like what is happening on our site and forum every day? Read the testimonials and see for yourself! How many countless times people write to us how they simply broke down crying when reading the website and the posts on the forum, and when they realize that they too have hope!

GuardUrEyes is the main, if not the only, religious network in the world today that deals with this issue in such a comprehensive manner, with so many tools, a forum, a blog site, e-mail lists, phone conferences, hot-lines, 12-Steps, etc…

And what we have now is only a start. Ultimately, we hope that our work will spread throughout the Jewish world. We are developing a network of sponsors and partners, and a growing community of people who want to be part of this revolution.

And we hope that these handbooks that we are working on now will ultimately evolve into published books. And we hope that our message will one day be translated into other languages as well, such as Hebrew, Russian, Spanish, French and more!

The Zohar writes that Shmiras Habris is one of the main areas holding up the Ge’ulah. We literally are paving the path for Moshiach. Be a part of it! Join the revolution. Every time we fix ourselves, we are fixing a whole world. (See here for a cute parable).

Help Us Help Others. We can’t do it without you.

Help support GuardYourEyes according to your means. Perhaps you can set aside a percentage of your Ma’aser money and become a monthly sponsor to “partner” in our holy work.

And if you know of any other ways that we may garner financial support, for example, other people who may have Ma’aser money and who would understand the importance of what we are doing, or organizations that work towards these same goals, please let us know.

The very fabric of our society is at stake. Be a part of saving Klal Yisrael in what is perhaps the most difficult test of our generation.

In the merit of your help, Hashem will give you special divine assistance in your own struggle. This is based on “Midah kineged Midah”. If you help others heal and help us spread the message of hope, Hashem will help you as well, in ways you never believed possible.

Perhaps you can help us spread the word and let the Rabbanim, mechanchim and community leaders know that there is hope. Or perhaps you can help us get articles published in Jewish newspapers, magazines and on-line websites. Maybe you even have your own website and can put up a banner that links to our site. See here for some available banners. And see here for a Flyer that you can print out to hang up in your neighborhood shteiblach, bulletin boards or the like, or use to sponsor an ad in your community or neighborhood magazines.

Chazal say that there is nothing Hashem despises as much as Zimah (promiscuity and licentiousness). Yet, without these intense struggles, could we really become great men and Tzadikim? So Hashem knows that we need to have this Yetzer Hara, but only so that we succeed to break free in the end, and in the process, we learn to give Hashem our hearts. And that’s what GuardUrEyes is doing: Helping people get back their sanity, their lives, and their connection with Hashem and his Torah. We are fixing the world, one person at a time.

R’ Noach Weinberg Za”l, Rosh yeshiva of Aish Hatorah used to ask people if they thought they could change the world. And they would say, “what can I do on my own?”, And then he would ask them, “If Hashem helped you, could you do it then ?” And they would agree that with Hashem’s help, anything is possible. That was Rav Noach’s life-time philosophy. He knew that he could do nothing without Hashem, but with Hashem, he knew he could change the world. And he DID.

He was also once asked how he had been so successful in building such a colossal world-wide Kiruv movement. He replied that he had once seen a crane lifting a 10 ton block of cement, while the workers on the roof guided it into place. Explained Rav Noach, since the prophets have already promised that the Yidden will do Teshuvah before Moshiach’s time, Hashem is already holding the 10 ton block for us. All that is left for us to do, is guide it into place.

It is the same with Shmiras Habris. The Holy books write that before Moshiach time there will be a great awakening of purity in these areas. All we have to do, is to be there to guide our Jewish brother’s hearts back into place.

Happy is the lot of those who are a part of this!

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Video Profile of Alan Vinegard, NFL Ba'al Teshuva

Gruntig posted this beautiful video. This is a feature story from a sports TV show about Alan Veingard, who played for the Greenbay Packers and the Dallas Cowboys, and whose team won the Superbowl in 1993. He's now a very frum, Erlicheh Yid who davens and learns at Chabad of Coral Springs, FL. The Chabad rabbi there is interviewed as well. Check out Gruntig's post too, he has some other links to videos and other websites about Alan and his journey back to Yiddishkeit.

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Our Avodah During Shovavim - Fixing the Unfixable

Rabbi Reuven Boshnack was kind enough to share a shiur that he gave at a Melaveh Malka to a Sephardi chevra in Flatbush. It is on the topic of what our avodah is during this time of Shovavim. I think what he says in this shiur is really fundamental to understanding Teshuva and how we should approach those things which make teshuva seem either difficult or impossible. The shiur is really kedai. He handles a few sensitive topics so this shiur is for men only.

CLICK HERE to listen to this mp3 shiur by either left clicking to listen to the shiur right away or right clicking and selecting "Save Target As" to download.

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The Bilvavi Author's Main Nekudah on His Trip to the U.S.

When Rav Itamar Shwartz, the author of the Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh seforim came to the United States in September, he challenged many people to rethink their priorities in life. Many of us may have had difficulty hearing this message. It wasn't only a message of chizuk and hisorerus, but a call to deep and difficult action. I found a section from the beginning of the 5th Chelek of Bilvavi which explains the basic message along these lines. It would be kedai for us to read what he writes here and think about how it may be applicable to ourselves. I have translated part of what I think is a very relevant portion here:

The R"I writes (Sh"T P"1 11) "Know that one who sins by happenstance because he has a desire which overpowers him and his inclination grips him , which he cannot remove from his mind and senses when he encounters it... The beginning of the Teshuva for this person is regret and placing sadness in his heart for his sin etc... But one who is constantly and firmly planted on a path that is not good, whose sins overcome him and he walks in them every day and repeats his iniquity... the beginning of the Teshuva for *this* person is to abandon his [all of] his evil path and thoughts..."

The R"I is speaking on an external level, of one doing actual aveiros (sins), G-d forbid. However, the same thing applies to inner work. Let us explain: Their are those whose actions are entirely tied to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, who just has one detail of his life in which he forgets his connection to the Creator. Then his Tikun is just to fix and tie that detail to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. However, there are others who, even though they observe all of Torah and Mitzvos, lack the inner essence of Torah. They feel no love and they do not have the requisite joy [in doing Mitzvos] and they feel no connection in their souls to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, to their Father in Heaven. He feels no parent-child connection between himself and Hashem. This person's entire path in life is wrong! He is cut off from the true essence of life, from the true essence for which he was created. Therefore, for a person of this type, doing teshuva by taking on some additional stringency or this like will not be enough. Rather, he must change his whole approach to life. He must go out of the world of externality and enter into the world of connecting to the "One Who spoke and the world came into being." If someone doesn't feel love for Hashem burning inside of him enough, and doesn't feel longing for his Father is surely still entirely on the wrong path.

This point is one which is very important and which many people fail in. Let us explain: If someone decides to do Teshuva, especially during these days of Elul and the 10 days of Teshvua. He contemplates his way of life and examines his actions. In general, if he finds that he is afflicted in guarding his tongue, wasting time from learning, davening without thought, saying brachos merely out of habit, etc. What does this person do? He accepts upon himself all sorts of commitments in each of the areas in which he is afflicted. It is obvious that the majority of the time, these commitments do not last long. And even if they last for a long time, a true growing person does not sprout from this process. What is the root of the problem? This is exactly what we have been speaking about! This person is doing the first type of Teshuva from the R"I in the aspect of one who sins "by happenstance." However, in truth, he needs to do the second type of Teshuva for a person who is planted on the [wholly] wrong path.

-Dixie Yid

(Picture courtesy of rahafharfoush.com)

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Should We Teach People That The Torah is the Best Worldly Tool?

When I was first becoming observant, one book that had a great effect on my thinking was Tradition in a Rootless World: Women Turn to Orthodox Judaism. It was written by a non-frum sociologist who immersed herself in two different communities of Baalei Teshuva to learn why they chose to become observant and in what ways they differed. She spent a few weeks studying at a Beis Chana Chabad Seminary for Baalos Teshuva and several weeks with the Lincoln Square Synagogue, a center for many modern orthodox Baalei Teshuva in Manhattan.

One of the major impressions that I had from this book, which, to me, reflected negatively on the modern orthodox approach to teaching Baalei Teshuva at Lincoln Square, was that their whole approach was completely this-world centered. They taught how Judaism and observance leads to a better life in this world. They showed people how being observant was healthier physically, emotionally and socially. They showed people how, if they became more observant, they could have better lives in this world. This was their main approach to outreach.

In contrast, the approach at the Chabad seminary was to encourage the women to grow in their committment to Yiddishkeit by focusing mostly on the spiritual side of it. They showed the people there how they could transcend this world and connect to G-d through keeping the Torah.

My impression was that the more "right wing" approach was to take a more direct route and actually focus on the real deal, which is that religion is supposed to bring a person closer to G-d, not merely a more "effective" life in this finite world.

However, I saw a very interesting Kedushas Levi in Parshas Vayishlach (5th piece) which speaks about this basic concept. He talks about two different stages in a person's development. He says that when one is first beginning to get closer to G-d, the yetzer hara is very strong. The person is still so steeped in "this-world", that they have no language or frame of reference for really focusing on the transcendent, which just doesn't move the person at that stage because he just doesn't speak that language yet. In order to grow in observance at that stage, a person can only fight their yetzer hara by focusing on all of the good things of this world that a person gets by keeping the Torah. In such a way, the yetzer hara is pacified and lays off a bit, and the person can grow.

But in "stage 2," when a person is already davuk, cleaving to Hashem, then he should no longer focus on the good things of this world that the Torah will bring him. Rather, he should only focus on giving nachas ruach, pleasure to Hashem as his only motivation. At this stage, the nefesh haEloki, the G-dly soul, is so revealed that one does not need the crutch of focusing on the worldly benefits of Torah anymore to subjugate the yetzer hara. The lure of greater deveikus with Hashem and the ability to give Him nachas ruach through one's avodah is incentive enough.

After seeing this piece in Kedushas Levi, I realized that both approaches, the Lincoln Square approach and the Chabad approach from that book are both necessary for different people, and for the same people in different stages of their development. I don't actually know whether the teachers at Lincoln Squqre are actually aware of "Stage 2" or not. I don't know if they intended to help influence the members of their community to the more spiritual, G-d oriented, transcendent side of Yiddishkeit when they were ready or not. But the Kedushas Levi is teaching that this method should not be shunned. It is something necessary for each of us in the beginning stages of our avodah (which can often take a lifetime) and should be used without embarrassment because for those of us coming from a secular culture, the worldy benefits are the only ones which will speak to us until we learn how much more is out there.

I don't think that only one or the other approaches are right. We have to know ourselves to discern which strategy to pursue when fighting our own yetzer haras and which is the right approach when teaching others. We have to know which language we and others understand and which we don't. IY"H, we should all be zoche to take the right approach in our own inner work and when trying to be mashpiah in a positive and productive way on others.

-Dixie Yid

(Picture of Lincoln Square Synagogue courtesy of gis.net)

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The Back Story on Sender Uri's Teshuva in Early Israel

The following is some special background information on the Rachmastrivka Rebbitzin's stories about her father that Yosef Hakohen told over in THIS POST right before Yom Kippur, heard by Rabbi Reuven Boshnack from her brother, R' Yaakov Uri, during his visit a few years ago to Boca Raton, FL on behalf of Zaka.

I heard from R Yaakov Uri (Proprieter of Uri's pizza, and brother of
Rachmistrivker Rebbitzen from Yosef Hakohen's guest post) that their father Sender Uri, the grandson of the Bnei Yissasschar- was drafted into the army, and when he got out, he went, with alot of other conscripted Jews, to Israel. He He said that Shomer Hatzair didn' work out, apparently because of the story that Yosef told.

He then became a construction worker and was involved in building roads in Yerushalayim and was building a road from between a certain bakery in Meah Shearim and one of the hospitals. A mocher seforim (book seller) came by once, with a wheel barrow full of seforim (as was the minhag in those days). Sender turned to the mocher seforim, and asked for a Ynei Yisaschar. The mocher seforim stopped dead in his tracks. This was a modern guy, with a barren head and a chup (shock of hair in the front) asking for a Bnei Yissaschar?!

So the mocher seforim said- "What do you know about the Bnei Yisasschar?"

Sender said, "He's my Zeide."

The Mocher said, "And you are standing here like this?!"

Sender said, "I was gechapped (drafted), what do I know?"

The Mocher said, "If I take you to learn, will you?"

Sender Uri agreed became a talmid chacham and well recieved in all of the
circles of yerushalaim of that time, both by Rav Kook and R Yosef Chaim
Zonenfeld.

If you look in the new (Bloom) edition of Bnei Yissasschar, they thank R
Sender. They borrowed some kisvei yad (original manuscripts) that R Sender had from the Bnei Yisaschar. "Borrowed" should be in quotations. The Toldos Avraham Yitzchak Rebbe asked him to loan the kisvei Yad- and R sender said, "The ksavim don't
leave me. A bachur can come to copy them."

He died, I think, at the age of 90. That day, he turned to his son and said
something like, "Today is a good day to die."

How his son ended up with the most popular pizza store in Geulah- that's
another story. Fortunately, he made his special pizza sauce for us, and helped cook the cholent when he came for Shabbos too!

(Picture courtesy of crwflags.com)

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Why You Shouldn't Get Discouraged About the Teshuva/Sin/Teshuva Cycle

Lest one get discouraged after Yom Kippur because he's already sinned and done Teshuva and sinned again and done Teshuva again, etc, I want to share the following story and an idea from my rebbe's drasha before Ne'ilah.

In Sippurei Chassidim (p. 94), Rav Shlomo Yosef Zevin brings down a ma'aseh about Rav Yisroel Rizhiner. The holy Rizhiner was in Odessa on doctor's orders. When he was there, he heard that there was a grandson of Rav Yaakov Emden there, named Meir. Meir had gone "off the derech" and was no longer frum. The Rizhiner invited Meir to come back to Rizhin with him and promised to take care of all of his needs. Meir agreed and came back to Rizhin with the Rebbe. The Rebbe took care of Meir as he had promised and Meir was Chozer B'Teshuvah.

One day, Rav Yisroel noticed that Meir looked depressed. He asked him why he was sad and he said "If it's because of your sins, remember that Teshuva works!"

Meir answered that He's already sinned and done Teshuva and sinned again and done Teshuva again, etc. etc. etc. etc. He said that he didn't think that Hashem would forgive him any more so why wouldn't he be depressed!?

Rav Yisroel answered him by saying that since he heard he (Meir) used to be known as a big Ilui (genius) and a Lamdan so he wouldn answer him in the way of the Lamdanim. He asks on the phrase in the Shmoneh Esreh of Yom Kippur, "כי אתה סלחן לישראל ומחלן לשבטי ישורון." He asks why it calls Hashem סלחן and מחלן (meaning "forgiver") instead of more simply סולח and מוחל? He answers based on the Gemara's Drasha in Bava Metzia 33a on the Pasuk in Shmos 23:5, "רֹבֵץ תַּחַת מַשָּׂאוֹ." The pasuk gives the mitzvah to help an enemy's donkey crouching (רֹבֵץ) under its load. And the Gemara darshes that only if it's "רובץ ולא רבצן." Rashi there's explains that the difference between "רֹבֵץ" and "רבצן" is that the "רבצן" is consistently crouching under loads. Rav Yisroel said that we see from here that the difference between something with a nun at the end of the word and without it is that the nun at the end implies that this is a constant, repeating characteristic. Therefore, he says, we call Hashem סלחן and מחלן in davening because he forgives again and again. If we fall backward and sin again and again, Hashem is ready to forgive us every time we do Teshuva.

Right before Ne'ilah on Yom Kippur, my rebbe also asked why we say "Slach Lanu" in Ma'ariv right after Yom Kippur. What could we be asking forgiveness for immediately after Ne'ila?! And he answered (I can't remember in whose name) that we may already be guilty of the biggest aveira of all, which is not believing that Hashem truly has forgiven us for all of our aveiros.

May we merit to remember that Teshuva really does work and that Hashem really did forgive us on Yoim Kippur. Therefore, let us remember that today is a new beginning and that we can make this year different because our past is behind us!

-Dixie Yid

(Picture courtesy of daylife.com)

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Teshuva & Homosexuality - A Bold Article at Aish.com

Aish.com has published a very bold and interesting article by a man named "David" who's a man in his 40's with a wife and children, who lived a homosexual life for a very long time. I was very surprised by his approach. I had read R' Aaron Feldman's article a few years ago, suggesting that homosexual men not attempt to marry women, etc., but rather to take advantage of their "inability" to get married and dedicate their lives to doing things for the Klal that "family men" can't really do because of the difficulty in traveling with a family at home. This is certainly a very different approach. And it is one that I was taught to reject as an option for homosexuals, back in my pre-frum days. I'd be interested to hear other people's reactions as well.

Aish.com: The Straight Path Home

-Dixie Yid

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Rav Soloveichik's "Al Hateshuva" - Taught by Rabbi Reuven Boshnack

I am happy to announce the 2nd shiur in the series of shiurim given at Brooklyn College in preperation for Yomin Neoraim by Rabbi Reuven Boshnack. The series is called "Meshorerei Hateshuva," "the Poets of Teshuva," and is on some of the teachings related to teshuva by Rav Yoshe Ber Soliveichik and Rav Avraham Yitzchak Hakohen Kook. In this second shiur, Rabbi Boshnack takes us through Rav Soliveichik's famous work "Al HaTeshuva," but with a Boshnack twist on the rocks.

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-Dixie Yid

(Picture courtesy of wikipedia)

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