Arguing with the yetzer Hara - A Simchas Torah story from R' Levi Yitzchak

I mentioned that four days ago, Sunday October 7th, was R’ Levi Yitzchak from Bardichev’s yartzeit. I saw a great ma’aseh from Simchas Torah about R’ Levi Yitzchak in the sefer Sippurei Chassidim by Rav Shlomo Yosef Zevin.

In R’ Levi Yitzchok’s first year of marriage, he was not yet known as a great Tzadik and he was still being supported by his father in law, who was an important member of the community. On Simchas Torah, the Shul honored him with saying “Ata Horeisa.” He approached the bina and picked up the Talis. He remained there for a moment and then he put down the Talis. A few moments later, he picked it up again. And again, a few moments after that, he put it down again. This repeated several times until he yelled out “if you’re such a chossid and such a lamdan, then you do it!”, and then he returned to his place in the Shul, without leading the “Ata Horeisa.”

Everyone in the Shul thought this looked very strange and they thought that R’ Levi Yitzchak was either some kind of false Tzadik or meshugenah. His father in law was humiliated, given his position in the community but he felt it was wrong to ask his son in law for an explanation during the Hakafos. But as soon as they were over, he could no longer contain his curiosity. He approached R’ Levi Yitzchak and asked for an explanation for his strange behavior. And he answered with the following words:

“I’ll tell you the truth. When I picked up the Talis to say the “Ata Horeisa,” my Yetzer Hara said to me that he wanted come up with me and say the Ata Horeisa along with me. I adamantly refused him, and I asked him, “Who are you that you should go up and lead the Ata Horeisa?!” My yetzer hara then answered me, “Who am I?! Who are you!” So I answered him that at least I’m a lamadan, as I have learned much Torah. He answered me that he too was a Lamdan. I responded, “What do you mean? I have learned Shas and Poskim and know much Torah. He answered me that he had been right there with me learning, and he had learned all the same things I had learned. I then said, “But I am also a Chassid! I learned the derech haChassidus from great Tzaddikim.” He answered me that he was also a Chassid and that he had also learned the derech haChassidus from those same Tzadikim right along there with me. In frustration, and realizing that I would not be able to go up and lead the Ata Horeisa withouyt the yetzer hara leading it along with me, I threw down the Talis and yelled back at the yetzer hara, “If you’re such a chassid and such a lamdan, then let’s see you lead the Ata Horeisa by yourself!”

His father in law and the congregation were passified by that answer. I love this story for so many reasons. One is what it says about our learning in chassidus and derech avoda during the whole year and to be aware of the yetzer hara’s place in that, which may be legitimate. The other interesting thing is how in touch R’ Levi Yitzchok was with trying to drive out any yetzer hara or ga’avah in his leading of a part of the tefillah. To me, it’s just such a great ma’aseh. Anyone else have ideas on what we can learn from this ma’aseh?

-Dixie Yid

(Picture courtesy of maxweber.hunter.cuny.edu)

Simchas Torah Challenges – "Getting Into" the Dancing

With some encouragement from A Simple Jew, I wanted to put an issue I’m grappling with out there on the table. To state it plainly, I currently find it difficult to ever “get into” the dancing in almost any venue. Aside from two specific events per year, I generally struggle with a feeling of coldness and apathy when it comes to various situations that relate to rikudim. Whether it’s a Chasuna, or dancing on simchas Torah, I generally have a general lack of enthusiasm. When it comes to weddings, unless I am very close to a Chossan, I face this problem.

On the first night of Shmini Atzeres, I went out of my way to daven at a Shul where they do not do Chassidishe hakafos on the first night of Shmini Atzeres. That way, I would only “have” to dance on Simchas Torah its self. When my children were there, I certainly made a great effort to have some great dancing during that time, and the rest of the time, I participated as well, but not with a lot of feeling.

Something that I found very helpful was the fact that the rabbi of my Shul gave us a nice pep talk before the dancing the at night with two sets of kavanos regarding what the avoda of the dancing is about and what it accomplishes. You can read that advice HERE. It was a huge chizuk to know what to think about and I was thankful to have a rabbi who'll lead us along what we need to be doing and thinking about during a mitzva. Although even knowing what great things are hanging in the balance during the dancing, I still had that coldness that is so difficult to shake off during the dancing.

When it comes to intellectual things, even emotionally connected things, like Torah, Chassidus, Gemara, etc. I have no problem getting into it most of the time. The problem arises when I try to connect my intellectual knowledge with my emotions. That’s a great challenge for me and it is something I’m working on in general with the derech avoda of the Bilvavi seforim. It all comes back to one of the messages in my current favorite pasuk from Devarim 4:39, “וְיָדַעְתָּ הַיּוֹם, וַהֲשֵׁבֹתָ אֶל-לְבָבֶךָ, כִּי יְהוָה הוּא הָאֱלֹהִים, בַּשָּׁמַיִם מִמַּעַל וְעַל-הָאָרֶץ מִתָּחַת: אֵין, עוֹד..” It’s the old difficulty of connecting the וְיָדַעְתָּ הַיּוֹם to the וַהֲשֵׁבֹתָ אֶל-לְבָבֶךָ.

Anyone else facing this? How have you handled it or how would you like to handle it?

-Dixie Yid

(Video is a great one of the Melitzer Rebbe having no problems "getting into" the dancing with his then-new son in law, at a Sheva Brachos in Ashdod.)

Two Kavanos To Have During Simchas Torah Hakafos

The rabbi in my Shul gave over two thoughts to have during Hakafos on Simchas Torah. Perhaps you can bookmark this post to read next year before Simchas Torah!

The first was was introduced with a mashal. A Jew came to the regional Yerid, trade show, with the intention of making lots of money. With this in mind, he took out a room in the most expensive hotel in town. He enjoyed the luxuries of the room as well as the scrumptious meals every night after "work." After a few days the Maître` di noticed that he was wearing the same cloths every day and that he seemed to be eating the food with a little too much gusto to be accustomed to such fare. He approached him with a copy of the bill, and asked him, "I hope you are happy with your accomodations here?" "Oh yes, I'm quite pleased," the Jew replied. "Very good," answered the Maître` di, "because I just wanted to make you aware of the bill that you have run up. Here it is. Is this correct?" With eyes popping out of his head at seeing such a high number, the Yid fessed up.

"To tell you the truth, I have been totally unsuccessful at the Trade Show and and I have no money at all to pay this bill." Promptly, the Maître` di motioned for the hotels goons to come over. Knowing that they would probably kill him the Yid pleaded, "I know that I cannot pay this bill, but listen. I am the best dancer that any of you have seen around here. If you let me dance, I guarentee you that you will attract more customers here and their business will more than pay for my bill." The Maître` di saw no harm in giving him a chance, and it happened just as the Yid had promised. He danced and the hotel got more buisness, which more than made up for the Yid's bill.

The nimshal is that over the course of the year, we enjoy health, family, a home, parnasa, and many of the other services Hashem provides in the world. But at the end of the year, our balance sheets don't add up. We don't have the Torah, Mitzvos, and ma'asim tovim to "pay" for our stay. When Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur come, our life is on the line as we realize that our life is on the line because our balance sheet doesn't add up! So we tell Hashem, just wait until Simchas Torah! Then we will dance and bring ourselves and our children so much closer to Hashem that He will receive more Torah and Mitzvos in the future because of our dancing on Simchas Torah than he would have received had he taken us from this world because of our unpaid bill.

The idea is that we can think about the fact that we're validating our existance this past year and giving motivation, inspiration, and direction to our upcoming year through the dancing on Simchas Torah.

The second mashal is the following: A Jew is the tenant on his land and the landlord is a kind gentile, landowner. After three months of unpaid rent, the gentile landlord calls over his Jewish tenant and asks about the rent. Appolagetically, the Jewish tenant tells him that he has been unsuccessful in busniess recently, and he cannot pay the rent. The landlord responds that he shouldn't worry about it. He gives him a three month extensions and takes 10% off the balance.

After the three months, the Yid is heartbroken to admit to his landlord that he still hasn't been successful and cannot pay the rent that he owes. The landlord kindly gives him another 3 months and another 10% off.

After the last three months, the Jew feels so dejected about his failures until now that he is totally broken and lacks any self-confidence to succeed in business. He comes to his landlord empty-handed. The landlord tells him that since he's always been a good tenant and paid his rent ontime, he really doesn't want another tenant. He totally forgives all of the past-due rent and just asks him to make future rent payments on-time. The Jewish tenant is so happy and ashamed at the same time to have such relief from debt due simply to the kindness of the landlord.

Determined not to take advantage of his benefactor, he gets all his family together, and he reveals to them all of the difficulties that he is going through and the whole story with the landlord. They are very understanding and collect enough money between them to pay back the landlord and give the Jew enough money to make a new start for himself. He pays back the landlord and using the money that he received on loan from his family, along with the confidence that he gained from the whole process, he succesfully turns his fortune around and "lives happily ever after."

The nimshal is: We run up such a debt from the whole previous year where our ma'asim do not match all that we receive. On R"H and Y"K, we are given a free break from our Landlord in shamayim, and we are granted life for another year. On Simchas Torah, we call up our family, our ancestors, Avraham, Yitzchak, Yaakov, Moshe, Aharon, Yosef and Dovid Malka Meshicha in each of the seven hakafos. "lend" the zechuyos we need to pay off our debts from the previous year and make a new start with chizuk for the coming year. Therefore, he suggests thinking of each of these "ushpizin" during each of the 7 hakafos and think about how they are lending their "midos" for our benefit.

In the first hakafa, think about the mida of chesed we receive from Avraham. During the seoncd think about the Gevura from Yitzchak. In the third Hakafa, we think of the Tiferes of Yaakov. During the fouth hakafa we should focus on the mida of Netzach from Moshe, and in the fifth hakafa, we draw down the mida of Hod from Aharon Hakohein. In the sixth hakafa, we should focus on the mida of Yesod to draw strength in the areas of shmiras haeinayim and shemiras habris that we draw from Yosef. And in the fifth hakafa, we should think about the mida of malchus that we receive from Dovid Hamelech.

If you can remember any of these for next year, or use my "Simchas Torah" category link on the right sidebar, I hope these teachings and kavanos for simchas Torah will be helpful!

-Dixie Yid