Satisfaction from Child Raising and Housekeeping - Part 2

SATISFACTION FROM CHILD RAISING AND HOUSEKEEPING
By
Rabbi Chaim Morgenstern
Part 2

(You can see Part 1 here)

A Career of Chesed

Children give their parents much more than nachas in this world; each child has the ability to merit their parents nitzchius –eternal reward in the next world.
From the day one when a child is born, the Jewish mother embarks on an incredible career of doing chesed. Just to think about the myriad chasadim of feeding, diapering, dressing, kissing, cuddling, hugging, comforting and bathing that she does during the day is mind-boggling. To get a glimpse of the proportions that we are talking about, an average of 8 diapers changed per day totals almost 3,000 changes a year.

Moreover, each second of caring is another mitzvah. Thus, when adding all the sleepless nights spent tending to a crying or sick child and the moments that a mother is in the home so that the child doesn’t feel alone brings us to figures beyond our comprehension, especially when we multiply this by each child in the family. This constant caring also develops many noble qualities and middos tovos such as self-sacrifice, responsibility, patience, loyalty, persistence, creative talent and similar gems of achievement that she will pass on to her children.

Moreover, all of these chassadim are only part of the picture, since each one of them involves numerous preparations. Take the simple act of preparing vegetable soup for dinner. First, the mother must go to the store to buy vegetables which involves selecting, weighing and paying. Then she brings them home, washes and peels them, puts them on the fire, seasons them and cooks them. Then, she serves her family, puts the extras in the refrigerator and finally, washes the utensils.

Thus, the mother can be termed as a “24/7 chesed machine.”

Furthermore, when a mother sends her children off to school and cares for their well being to enable them to continue in their Torah studies, she receives a special reward in olam haba (Brachos 17a, Rashi ad loc.). The Rama compares her to the tribe of Yisaschar, who shared Zevulun’s share in Torah by supporting him, (Y. D. 246:6).

Perpetual Rewards in the Next World

Chazal say that when a person dies and leaves behind a child like him (i.e. shomer Torah and mitzvos) he is termed as “resting.” However, if he doesn’t, he is considered “dead” (Bava Basra 116b). The Maharsha explains “resting” to mean that it is as if he didn’t die and is resting in a state of sleep. This can be understood by the words of Rabbeinu Yona who writes that when parents are in the next world and their children are learning Torah and fulfilling the mitzvos, it is as if the parents are still alive and fulfilling mitzvos (Iggeres Hateshuva #79). Moreover, the Menoras Hamoar writes that children have the unique ability to free their parents from the punishment of Gehinnom (Third ner #87). This concept explains why, on Rosh Hashana, the Sifrei Maisim – books of the dead – are opened even though they are not judged. Hashem observes the descendants of the deceased to see if they are going in the way of the Torah in order to further merit them in the next world.

A child’s special ability to merit his parents posthumously is underscored by the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch (26:22) who writes, “The most meritorious mitzvos that children can do for their deceased parents is not the reciting of Kadish and davening for the amud, but to go in the proper path (of being a shomer Torah and mitzvos).”

(Click here for Part 3)

(Picture courtesy of etc.usf.edu)

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