Showing posts sorted by relevance for query "posting (almost) live". Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query "posting (almost) live". Sort by date Show all posts

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Posting (Almost) Live on the Uman Drive by ZEV - Part 1

Just landed in Kiev Dixie - jut spent 3 hours singing Uman Rosh Hashanah and Mah Tov Chelkeinu with hundreds of yidden in a flying Ukrainian tin can. Maariv on the plane with hundreds of people screaming kaddish over the ocean. Its an amazing feeling of achdus, and hisorerus! Jews of all types, daatim, charedim, chasidim, all with one thing on their mind - to be Mamlich the Melech, Hakadosh Baruch Hu!! Mi K'Amacha Yisroel! It's such a zchus to be a Ben Melech. I'll write again when I arrive in Uman. Uman Uman Rosh HaShanah!!!

Zev

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Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Posting (Almost) Live From the Uman Drive by Chaim - Part 2

Yiden, we are working hard to include all of our families, extended families including Kehilas Bais Medrash -- Rav Dovid Speigel Shlita--- Kehilas Aish Kodesh ---Rav Chaim Moshe Weinberger Shlita--- we are all anxious to arrive at our final destination. We passed other commercial transportation including Ox driven Trucks, buses from the late 40s, wow is life so simple, the Boys brought us some water for literally pennies.

When we arrived at the mokom of the Helica Rebba Rav Zushia and the Magid of Mezrich. We mentioned why the Rebbi was called Zushia and not after his Real name Meshulem Zisel- because the Rebba was so sweet, he would constantly take the abuse of every one and any one in order to help another Yid. He was the brother of the famous Heiliga Noam Elimelech of lizensk but quite the opposite he had a very small court while his brother ran probably the largest. The Rebba Rav Zushia was by fare responsible for his holy brothers success in disguise. There we also made a Kal MalA Rachamon for the kedoshim that were murdered in the hands of the Nazis may Hashem avenge their innocent blood speedily in our days. We were able to spot the makom hashetichta because of the menorah that was erected at that place.

Now Lexi our driver no not really our driver is Leon is bringing us to Mezbuz the birthplace of chassidim as we know today. We will have a hot bowl of soup I'YH and some warm bread, a hot mikveh and a place to daven mincha. Our younger chevra is exicted to see the local wares including the mink, beaver,rabbit, skunk take out the last, hats and other home made brika brak.

Wow Leon look out for the pact of cows going home after a hard day at work. Okay we are arriving now in mezbuz. Got to go, I will I'Y'H continue on the next leg of our journey.

Chaim

PS everyone here says thank you for the zechus to deliver all those tefillos

Pictures courtesy of Simcha Goldberg. Click here to get Dixie Yid in your e-mail Inbox or here to subscribe in Google Reader.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Posting (Almost) Live on the Uman Drive by DOV - Part 3


Now I remember why last year I stopped writing after stopping in Mezzibitch by the Baal Shem Tov. When you step off the van you step off into the Olam Haemes. The first thing we did in preparation is go to the Mikvah. After cleansing our guf we went upstairs to daven maariv. We then went down to the Chader ochel to fill our guf with an incredible soup with potatoes, carrots, and barley. I think each one of us has 3 helpings. Then a plastic cup of mud coffee. We then all walked outside to spend time with the Baal Shem Tov. There are no words that can do justice. You can't understand until you go. There is no possible way for a person to walk within daled ammos of the Baal Shem Tov and not feel transformed. I read every name once again said 3 kippitel of tihillim, and then poured out my neshoma to Avinu shebashamayim. Jay and I walked around the cemetery to read the names of the kedoshim surrounding the holy mokom. As I am writing the chevrah are still trying to describe the way the feel. There was a magical calm and tranquility that we all felt in the presence of the tzaddik. Aviezer started humming a niggin and then we all joined arm in arm singing and dancing for the next half hour. A niggin is an infinite tiffilah. Its a tiffilah that surpasses all words that our guf could possible articulate. We lifted our neshomas to a new place. This is preparation for Rosh. Hashanah. We are all awakening our neshomas in preparation of greeting Hamelech tomorrow night.

Jay shared a story with all of us about an hour before we got to the Baal Shem Tov. When he stopped over in Paris there was a Yid trying to call his wife. His phone was not working so Jay offered to let him use the phone to text his wife. He then asked the Yid "aren't you on your way to Uman?" The yid replied "of course". Jay then said " and you haven't davened to Hashem for you phone to work?"." There is nothing you can't daven to Hashem for." The Yid smiled and walked to a corner and began to daven. Jay lost sigh of him as he boarded the plane the Yid still davening in the corner of his eye. When he landed in Kiev and was waiting for his luggage the yid came running over to Jay with a big smile and his cell phone in hand screaming "it works now, it works now". "See" said Jay "nothing is to small for Hashem, pray for everything."

What I haven't told you all till now and Allyson can attest to this is that I have an international phone here in the Ukraine but it has not been working. Allyson made 3 calls and spent a good half an hour with customer service trying to get the phone to work. I realized it was time to daven for my phone to work. I told the chaverim that I was inspired by Jay's story that I had to daven to hashem for my phone to work. So daven I did. "Hashem you are the manhig hakol even my phone working is completely up to you, please hashem make my phone work so that I can call my wife children and family while I'm here. My blackberry vibrated with a new message with a new trigger number from customer service. I dialed the trigger # and the phone worked. This was witnessed in full by my 4 other chaverim. Ask them the next time you see them. Daven, just daven, then when you think your done daven some more.

We are ready Hashem. We are ready to come to Uman.

Drive Leon, Drive, faster and faster, into the night as our neshomas are beginning to awaken again to connect with the Borei Olam.

Jay continues to delight us with stories of Tzadikim through the night even as I'm writing these words.

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Posting (Almost) Live on the Uman Drive by DOV - Part 3

In the world of Hakodosh Baruch Hu and when on a mission of kirvas hashem through kirvas hatzadikim, expect the unexpected. As if the tzaddik himself called out to Hashem and said "Have these neshomas come and visit me", I asked Leon if he could stop to get some drinks and he replied "sure, we will be in Bardichiv in 5 minutes." We had no intention of stopping there originally, but knowing that Rav Lavie Yitzchak was 5 minutes away, of course we had to stop. This bais hakvoros has always amazed me. The beautiful flowers that surround these kedoshim are fascinating. Baruch Hashem we had time to say a kippitel of tihillim, light a candle, and place our left hand upon the resting place of this Tzaddik yisod olam. I was able to say the all the names that were sent to me over the last few days in this holy place. The kohanim waited patiently outside the cemetery as Jay and I got to spend a few precious and surreal moments in the tzion.

Just as we were leaving, Jay pointed out "how amazing, just the thought that we were driving along the same streets that this holy tzaddik would walk to shul, mikvah, or the bais medrash."

It is upon us to follow in the ways of the Tzadikim. For they will show us the lighted path in kirvas Elokim, kedusha and teharah. Now besides literally following the actual footsteps we must strive to reach the heights of these kedoshim. Rav Tzvi Meyer Zilberberg pointed out on his last trip to America that we have no idea how strong the kochos that hakodosh baruch hu has and continues to give us to grow in kedusha, grow in davening, grow in avodas haboreh, grow in bein adam lichavero, and growing in limud torah.

As we got back into the van all of us began to reflect on the moment and it was just a moment. But, "kieref eyen" in the blink of an eye the whole world could change. Ours just did as we departed another one of the greatest giants in chassidus the holy Kedushas Levi. It is known as a big segulah just to mention his name "Reb Lavi Yitzchak ben Sarah Sasha". Imagine laying your hand upon his kever and opening up you mind and your heart to Hashem.

Bikidusha Vitihara, on into the night to the Baal Shem Tov.

Picture of the kever of the Baal Shem Tov courtesy of ykrussia.blogspot.com. Click here to get Dixie Yid in your e-mail Inbox or here to subscribe in Google Reader.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Posting (Almost) Live on the Uman Drive by DOV - Part 2

We landed several hours ago and stood on line at customs for over an hour. There are actually no formal lines just 1000's of people trying to force their way to the front from all sides. Just as we reached the front of the line we were joined by our dear chaverim Shmuel and Jay. Jay joined our group to go to Mezibitch to the Baal Shem Tov and Shmuel opted to go straight to Uman.

We made immediate contact with our faithful Driver Leon and boarded the Green coach. No sooner then we got in the Ukrainian mafia hassled our driver for money, they negotiated 20 dollars out of us.

Jay shared some amazing stories with us about his great grandfather who is from the Ukraine. They had 13 children and lived on a farm. Some soldiers came to their home to round up their boys so the father hid them in large ovens in the basement. The soldiers looked everywhere for them convinced that it was impossible that there were no boys tending to a farm of this size. The soldiers told Jay's great grandfather to light the ovens. When the soldiers turned their back he picked up a log and beat them to death and buried the soldiers under their home. Needless to say the boys were saved but not for long. Pogroms hit the Ukraine and the Russians killed anyone that owned land to give it to the peasants. So they left home with the shirts on their back. Only six of thirteen children would survive the 1 year trek along the Ukraine to escape to the United States. In fact one night after the father returned with a shovel in his hands from burying one child, his wife sent him back out upon his return to bury yet another. The rest survived and built a life in the USA in the late 20's. How humbling, we worry when our AC stops working or we have a flat tire, a bad day at work, or when the first chill of winter moves in. These yidden were Moser Nefesh beyond our imagination or comprehension.

We stopped briefly on the side of the road to daven Mincha. We ate crackers, phony bologna. cheese sticks, and hearts of palm. Our faithful driver Leon presses on into the night closer and closer to the father of Chassidus, the holy Baal Shem Hakodosh.

Bisimcha Gadol,

Dov Berish

Picture courtesy of Simcha Goldberg. Click here to get Dixie Yid in your e-mail Inbox or here to subscribe in Google Reader.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Posting (Almost) Live After the Uman Drive by ZEV - Part 2

Being with Rabbeinu Z"L for Rosh Hashanah was Kulo chizuk – In fact, I’d say it was even Magical. The best way I can describe my experience is that in Uman, on Rosh Hashanah, H" Yisbarach is crowned as the King, L'Maaseh, with all the majesty that a group of tens of thousands of Yidden can muster up. From the time that I walked into the Kloiz for selichos Erev Rosh Hashanah (3 am, right off of the plane..) the words "Melech," which are painted on the walls at the front of the Kloiz, served as the humbling intoduction to the soon to be coronation ceremony. Rabbenu's Tzion on Erev Rosh Hashanah was packed, with Yidden from every corner of the world, of every type, pouring out their hearts to the Ribbono Shel Olam, crying, dancing, tearing open the heavens with Tikkun Klali. The energy in Uman, and especially inside by the Tzion, could be felt by everyone there. There were tens of thousands of people there. Inside the Tzion, outside the Tzion, on the streets surrounding the Tzion. Everywhere – davening, crying, confessing in front of the Rebbe. I couldn’t help but to feel the experience deeply.

When I made my way, finally, to the Tzion, and put my head down on Rabbeinu’s matzevah, for the first time, I felt as if he was embracing me. “Rabbeinu, B”H, I’m finally here with you for Rosh HaShanah. – I’m here Rebbe!” One thing I have to say – given the massive number of people there – it was packed, but the Yidden let each other up to the matzevah. I expected to have to fight my way to the front, but it wasn’t like that at all. Everyone there seems to know that everyone else ALSO wants to touch the Rebbe’s kever, and they make it happen, B”H. I was zoche with a few chaverim (B”H, I finally got to spend Rosh HaShanah, by the Rebbe, with REB CHAIM F.!!! – after 4 years of planning it, I finally overcame the meniyos!).

Davening in the Kloiz was probably the most powerful spiritual experience I’ve ever had. I don’t know exactly how many Yidden are in the main shul of the Kloiz – I heard 10,000 with those standing. I had heard about the clapping that goes on my HaMelech, but just couldn’t have imagined the power of that moment. When “HaMelech” is said, everyone there stands up and claps, giving the Master of the World a standing ovation, for at least a minute. The feeling that I experienced at that moment can’t be put into words. It was just so powerful. 10,000 Yidden (or something like that…) clapping for our Father in Heaven. The clap was like a clap of Thunder. It just went through me. I’m not sure I can go through another Rosh HaShanah without that moment (It should be with Moshiach Tzidkeinu, by the Rebuilding of the Beis HaMikdash in the coming year, B’Karov Mamash). The same Clap of Thunder took place at “HaMelech HaKadosh”.

The davening was just so amazing – like I said, Magical. I kept thinking to myself what a zchus it was to be standing there. Such a zchus to be a Ben Melech, clapping for my Father in Heaven. Hameivin Yavin. All throughout Yom Tov, I could hear the Roar coming from the different minyanim – all davening with such intensity. Screaming, clapping, dancing – Lichvod the Melech. And Tashlich … oooooh ahhhh. It was a sea of kittelach surrounding that body of water – a surreal scene of Yidden davening, doing hisbodedus, dancing – a sea of Kedushah.

Taking the charter flight back to Eretz HaKadosh was not my famous part of the trip, BUT after waiting in the airport on endless lines and checkpoints, our holy brethren were having some fun with the baffoon thug Ukrainian soldiers - one precious Yid screams really loud - SCREAMS - to the soldier standing at the head of a line of hundreds of us (the Ukrainian soldiers did their best to make us wait as long as humanly possible before being allowed into various sections of the airport), "Meeeester, Yehi Razon Milfanecha sh'anachnu, bnei malachim, maminim b’nei maminim, yeheyu Moshlim Aleichem B’Karov, BARUCH SHELO ASANI GOY, Meeeeester!!!". The soldier got angry at him, assuming he was being made fun of, and the Yiddele says to him, "MEEEEEEster, I ask you if we can take a peeeecture with you Meeeeester."

Mi K’Amcha Yisroel. I so hope you two Holy Yidden can join the kibbutz next year (in Yerushalayim of course, but if not, then in Uman)!

---Zev

Picture courtesy of Simcha Goldberg. Click here to get Dixie Yid in your e-mail Inbox or here to subscribe in Google Reader.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Posting (Almost) Live on the Uman Drive by DOV - Part 1

"613"- for all of you that really know me well, have probably heard a story or two around the number "613". Well needless to say this trip started with a "613". Allyson and the children all got in the car at 6:07 and we departed for JFK. I ran through a mental check list of everything I packed. Tifillin, talis, (oops I just realized I forgot my Maczor I'll have to get one in UMAN ), pants, shirt, shampoo and soap, etc.... I realized I forgot my rain coat. Realizing that it often rains in the Ukraine I decided to turn around and go back to the house to get it. I grabbed my rain coat, got back into the car looked at the clock and there before my eyes was Hashem. "Shivisi Hashem linegdi somid" "I place hashem before my eyes always". Yes it was "613"pm. It was the Beshah tovah- the right moment that Hashem wanted me to begin my journey and preparation for Rosh Hashanah 5770. I truly don't know what I have done in my life for Hakodosh Baruch Hu to give me this opportunity a second time in my life. I remember Rav Itamar Schwartz the Mechaber of "Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh" speaking last year to a small group of bachrim, and describing his life's search for Hashem. He described to us that the first moment he realized that there was a problem was in his teens and it was Elul and he knew he was supposed to feel something and he felt nothing. Well Elul 5769 and I too felt nothing. There was a void. I knew very well that I should be feeling something, or at least that the melech was traveling and near. The zechus I have been granted once again to cut the cord and spend 48 hours in preparation for Rosh Hashanah, to visit kivrei Tzadikim, and daven with 30,000 mispallilim in an area smaller that any one of the five towns. It is a mokom of tiffilah like non other in the world. Living in America, it is not possible to make any preparations for the Yom Tov ahead of us. Life is cruel, no matter what we do Life will find some way to occupy every last moment. I would be lucky to have the 5 minute walk to shul erev Rosh Hashanah to reflect, and prepare to greet the Melech. Like everything else in life we are procrastinators. Even things that have deadlines, one way or another can be extended. So we push it off and push it off till the very last moment.

As I stated in my last email, if not for Hashem who is the Manhig al kol, my amazing and courageous wife who will be home alone this yom tov with 6 little children under the age of 8, the spark my Rebbi, Rav Weinberger lit 4 years ago describing the mesiras nefesh that the wifes of the many that travel for treasures in UMAN undergo, and the final push my chaver Chaim Freud made last year to help me cut the cord and unplug from everyday life in America.
I know that hakodosh baruch hu loves me so much as I sit here and write this email. I know he truly loves me and wants me to have every chance and opportunity to develop a deep and meaningful relationship with him. This is the tachlis of all our lifes.

I was recently learning in chelk 5 of Bilvavi about how hashem desires and loves our tiffilos. We often look at an "es tzarah"-difficult time as a punishment, when in the olam ha emes- world of truth, it is another opportunity for us do deepen our relationship with Avinu Shebashamayim. We as parents love when our children turn to us and say please. How could we possibly say no. Especially, when they are so sincere. All we hope for is that our children make good decisions in life, and conduct them selfs in an appropriate way. Listening to and watching our children read and write, and develop life skills excites us to no end. We encourage them, work with them, and applaud them along the way.

Go Dov Berish, lech lecha me artizicha umibais avicha. Travel to a foreign land, go visit kevarim of some of the holiest yiddin that walked in this world. Pour your heart out, cry out in the words od Dovid Hamelech in tihillim which contains all the tiffilos for the sufferings of klal yisroel till the end of time. I have with me 3 pages and around 10 index cards containing the names of my closest family and friends and even names of yidden I don't know. In truth when I daven for them or I daven for myself there is no difference. In klal yisroel we are one. When you pour out your heart for the needs of others you are actually davening for yourself." Kudsha brich hu, viyisroel, vioraysa, chad hu". Hashem, klal yisroel, and the torah are one. On the plane ride I am traveling with 3 holy kohanim "the cohen brothers". Aviezer- my chavrusa the gentle and steadfast nishoma, Betzalel the hammer of emes and tzidkus in klal yisroel, and Chaim Dov the tzaddik in the making.

Our brachas have new kavanah, we discuss shaylos and inyani kidusha. We prepare our selfs to greet "Hamelech"- he's here and loves everyone of us. Please hashem help us all realize the kochos - strength you have given us to reveal the kedusha within us, your kedusha that fills this world and all worlds. Help as all prepare our selfs NOW to greet the face of the melech dovid malcha meshicha this year of 5770. May we all be zocheh to spend rosh hashanah in the bais hamigdosh bemhar biyamanu.

Bi'Ahava
Dov Berish

Pictures of Sophia Park in Uman courtesy of Simcha Goldberg. Click here to get Dixie Yid in your e-mail Inbox or here to subscribe in Google Reader.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Posting (Almost) Live From the Uman Drive - By Chaim - Part 1

Sholom chevrah,
Well B"H we left NY without any glitch, yep it really went as planed. We landed at Schipol international in the Netherlands just in time that the airport was still asleep. After gathering together we began Slechos of the third day. The terminal was so deserted, we were able to charge all our electronic devices- at the check in counter while we were davening. B"H we made the Naitz Zman. Who would ever believed that we would be able to gather in such a place and pour our hearts out to the Borah Olam. We were then asked to leave the terminal and clear european standard check in, what a joke. We waited for about 40 minutes on that ridiculous line, we all cleared security along with the Hisa chassidim that joined us on our trek to Rabbanu Hakodosh. We are now on the Ukrainian Airline aircraft and they are insisting that I shut off my device as to not delay the travelers. Catch you all later signing off.
Chaim

Hi chevra,
What a difference from an american carrier to one of the ukrianians????? They made a mistake and they sat us in a plane designed for sardines, what a joy to sit next to the Six foot four Zacharia Shlomo (ZACK) well his company is the best but there is the matter of space. Oh Vay, B"H its only three hours, they gave us an alkaline breakfast,(fruit) green bananas without the banana freckles and apples with. Well we took off in a timely manner surprisingly considering there first class security (ha ha) they were abrupt with us. Perhaps they are envious of our tallasim no probably the Teffilin. We met a Jew from Pennsylvania, he was so scared to daven in the airport he felt they would rob his tallis and Teffilin. Well we are about to land, our trek will lead us through Ukraine Border control- push back- DON'T Cross the yellow line on the floor, for if one dares to disobey they shut down out of desperation (push back) we will try to receive our bags and find Leon, our limousine driver (well its actually a 1990 van) it's sure better than the donkey and wagon idea.
Signing off catch you all later I'Yh in "haditch" the mokom of the Bal HaTanya.
Chaim

"Financial Assistance Needed"
Hello my dear friends,
You must be wondering about the title of this post? Alright let me explain, we arrived at the Admor Baal Hatanya (pictures on the side by Simcha Goldberg) the Rebba is surround by a wonderful compound of buildings. For those who remember from last year, ah what a memerory it is constantly there to be michazic us. The up keep of the mikveh on the compound is a true task, keeping the water so pleasant. We met a couple from Moscow there then some fellows from South Africa, talk about along trip. Now for the financial distress, beatiful tzion and bais medrash, mikveh but no electric!!!!!! coulld. It be? Unfortunitly yes and it is. B"H we had all sorts of flash lights, and we made the best of it. I was thinking how many people ever have the zechus to vist the makom tzion of such a great tzadick. Who ever learnt any of the Rebbas sichas or the Tanya itsellf can appreciate what I mean. There are tens of thousands of chasidim visiting the Ukraine each year, how many make it to Rebba the Baal Hatana. The group was in awe, we all know that Chazal taught us that after the pitirah (departing) of a Tzadick the Neshomah becomes boundless and can be "poel" yeshuos that were not possile in the life of the tzadik. We are all back in the limo on our way to vilednick, I wll keep you posted on our to shepatepska, annapooli, mezbitz, berditzov, brelov and then UMAN. Stay tuned you all are great!!!!!
Chaim

Hi every one, B"H we had our meniyos (obstacles, forces that come to prevent) the being and IY"H the end. Well let's just say that things worked out very different then we expected. For starter Scott Loffman bag was lost, the phones of course weren't working, the driver changed his pickup location because of the mafia, that was just some of the issues. But we B"H learned that these challenges only prove the dire importance of our journey, for our most wonderful families and the rest of amicha yisroel. Well we fixed the phone problems, thanks Judy for stepping in to rescue Reb Simcha. I bought a new Kyvister phone with russian letters really cool. We stopped on a beautiful road to daven mincha (see picture), a corn field at that. As we began to daven shemona esrai hashem sent a very slight drizzle- perhaps a wink saying Kinderlach your doing a good job. Chazal teaches that rain is a bracha in the right time and measure. Our first journey is to thee small town of Gadich the place of the Bal Hatania. The lubabicher rebbi never carried an umbrella, he said that the rain is a bracha why should he create a chatiza(separation) between him and the bracha. We all davened B"H with Conviction feeling the droplets. Well we are off back in the limo and enjoying the view. Judy yes Zack is in shock that he didn't pass any mall as of yet 300klm later.
Keep you all posted!!! IYH
Chaim and the gang!!!

We would love for some of the chevra to cheer us on!!!!! Go chevra!!!! Any questions any requests for some special tefillos -send them,,, don't be shy!! We all will be facing our maker in the next few days-lets try too be ready!!!
Chaim
Dixie Yid: If you e-mail me or leave a comment on this post with any tefillah requests or chizuk for Chaim and the rest of the Woodmere/Uman chevrah, I will be sure to pass it on to them, IY"H BL"N.

Picture courtesy of Chaim. Click here to get Dixie Yid in your e-mail Inbox or here to subscribe in Google Reader.

Posting Pictures (Almost) Live From Mezibutz on the Uman Drive by Chaim - Part 3





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Wednesday, June 4, 2008

My Anonymity Level is Going Down a Notch


After speaking with my rebbe, I have decided to downgrade my level of anonymity to MoChassid levels. This means that while I will continue not to have mine or my family's names on the site openly, I am no longer going to be ambiguous about things like my Shul and my rebbe.

I started off anonymous and stayed that way for reasons I explained in this guest posting at A Simple Jew. At that time, Rav Weinberger recommended that I stay anonymous, at least for the time being, in order to see what kind of reaction I was getting. Over the last few months a number of people have figured out on their own who I am. Plus, the blog's been going for well over almost a year and a half now and B"H virtually nothing bad has come from it. To the contrary, several great ruchnius'dikeh (spiritual) opportunities have come to me personally that I wouldn't have had access to but for the blog. I discussed some of these factors with Rav Weinberger and he felt that lowering the strictness of my anonymity would be fine.

You may not see any major changes, but hopefully I will enjoy being able to feel freer about what I write, since I'll no longer have to be concerned about avoiding giving clues as to where I live/who I am. I'll also be able to have less of a sepperation between what I do on Dixie Yid and what I'm doing in "real life," just as A Simple Jew wrote about today.

-Dixie Yid

(Picture courtesy of theage.com.au)

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Monday, September 10, 2007

Summaries in English of U.S. Bilvavi Shiurim Now Online



An Anonymous friend has written summaries of all of the shiurim that I had made available for download a little over a week ago. I'm posting those summaries here now and also in my original post offering the shiurim for download. There had been continuing problems for some people in downloading those shiurim and now that they are almost all being hosted at Bilvavi.net's site, most of those downloading problems should have been solved. If you do have a problem when downloading those mp3 shiurim, try again and it should work. It has for others.

This may be good for people who cannot understand the Hebrew shiurim, and may benefit from the English summary of Rav Shwartz's message in that shiur. Or you might use these summaries as a basis for knowing which shiurim you would like to download or listen to in streaming audio. Important Note: The first two links to shiurim #1 and #2 are still hosted at fileden and are subject to downloading maximums per month and therefore they might not be downloadable till October 2nd, 2007. The rest are hosted at Bilvavi.net and should work. If they don't the first time, try again.

1- Lakewood-Ohr Zarua- When Rav Shlomo Wolbe zt”l asked Rav Chatzkel (Rav Yechezkel Levenstein) zt”l what important information he should tell the students in his yeshiva, Rav Chatzkel said, “Tell them there is a Master of the World!” Much later, Rav Wolbe understood the significance of this comment. Rav Chatzkel lived with a tremendous feeling of closeness to Hashem at all times, and insisted that all who learn Torah strive to attain the same feeling. It is possible for one to learn Torah, and yet, fulfill the pasuk (Yirmeyahu 12:2), “You (Hashem) are close to their mouths but far from their interior” and (ibid. 2:8), “Those who have grasped the Torah do not know me.” This can happen if one learns Torah and feels that although the Torah is here, Hashem is far away somewhere. The reason we are informed that Hashem’s presence is here is that we are supposed to intend to connect to Him when learning Torah. As the Chazon Ish wrote, “The main thing is to remember before Whom you toil in Torah.” If one approaches learning with no thought, there is a halachic problem: Torah-ordained mitzvos require prior intent. Before learning, one must spend a minute thinking about why he is learning. If one does this, he will become much closer to Hashem through his learning. This is the reason we must learn Torah every free moment — through it, one can cleave to Hashem at all times.

2- Lakewood- Freehold Kollel- Hashem has planted in us a need to speak so that we will use every opportunity to speak to Him. We cannot suffice with the three tefillos said daily; rather, we must also use every opportunity we have in the day to speak to Hashem. In the Bais HaMikdash, as well, although there were two main karbanos daily (and the fats thereof were burned at night) corresponding to our fixed tefillos, there was also a requirement for a constant fire on the mizbeach. The Chazon Ish would daven to Hashem every time he had a difficulty with a matter of Torah, and the Brisker Rov would say a short tefillah whenever he heard of a trouble someone had, since there is an obligation to say a tefillah in any time of trouble. In fact, Hashem sends the various kinds to troubles to us so that we will use them as means to turn to Him. Our entire lives are for the sake of becoming close to Hashem, and if one suffers in any way at all, it is so that he will use it as an impetus to remember Hashem. Rav Yerucham zt”l said that great people eat in order to make a beracha. This doesn’t mean that they didn’t get hungry, but that they understood that all needs, such as hunger, exist so that we can remember Hashem. If one will remember Hashem on a regular basis, he will not need major problems, which are sent to remind us of Him. Hashem is compassionate, and does not want us to suffer if we are already remembering Him. On Rosh Hashanah, there is a strong feeling of closeness to Hashem. Why is this? The reason is that Hashem wants us to experience the level that is expected of us all year. We should not just do teshuvah for little details. We must realize that we are lacking the whole point of life — closeness to Hashem. To start improving in this area, we should minimally follow the ruling of the Rambam, who states (Hilchos Mezuzah 6:13) that one when sees a mezuzah, he should remember about Hashem. If we can start doing this at least once a day, we will make large strides toward living life properly.

4- Baltimore- Ner Yisroel- The gemara (Berachos 20a) says that the greatness of the earlier generations derived from the fact that they devoted their souls to Hashem. This doesn’t only mean to give up one’s life, but also to serve Him with the soul, not just to perform the mitzvos and learn Torah with the body and brain. A way to tell if you are serving Hashem with your soul is by seeing if you love Torah so much that you learn intensively even when on vacation from yeshiva. You should love Torah so much that you would learn it even if there were no reward for it. You must also grow in your attachment to tefillah and other mitzvos. Although there is a rule that “the heart is drawn (meshicha) after the actions,” and so, the mitzvos should on their own improve us, we must look at this as any meshicha, an act of pulling something into one’s domain, which is a form of acquisition. If one does an act of acquisition with no intent, he does not become the owner. Action and intent are required. Here, too, when learning and performing mitzvos, we must yearn for Hashem, from Whom we have become distanced, and intend that our Torah and mitzvos will improve our hearts and awaken our souls.

5- Baltimore – Shaarei Zion- In a healthy marriage, the husband and wife speak to each other on a regular basis. They do not only have set times for communicating, and then ignore each other the rest of the time. Although they might also fix set times for talking with each other, these are not meant to exclude ongoing spontaneous conversation. The marriage relationship (as well as other friendships) is meant to be an example for us of a healthy relationship with Hashem. (One aspect of this example is that a person often needs to seek for years to find a spouse. The same is often the case with one’s search for closeness with Hashem.) Although we are required to daven three times a day so that we don’t ignore Hashem, we must spontaneously turn to Hashem in brief conversation throughout the day. Hashem made the world in a way that we must be regularly on the ground and breathe air; these are constants. We must recall that a relationship with Hashem must also be such a constant. Regrettably, we are raised to think that our material comfort is the main thing in life. Parents make a mistake when they focus exclusively on their children’s material well-being and wait until much later to introduce the spiritual. Even before the child can understand spiritual values, the parents must daven for the child’s spiritual health, and in this way, plant the seeds for the child’s spiritual life.

6- Baltimore Community Kollel- Elul is a period when Hashem is considered our Beloved (dodi). Starting Rosh HaShanah, He is considered our Father/King. These are actually better relationships, because they are constant, as opposed to a close friend or an uncle (dod). But we must first let in the Beloved. As it says in Shir HaShirim (5:2), “My Beloved is knocking.” Hashem is knocking on our hearts, asking to be let in. To let Him in, we must make a “room” in our heart that will be hospitable to Him, as Lavan said to Yaakov (Bereishis 24:31), “I have cleaned out the house (from idols)” so that Yaakov would be able to reside there. We, too, must clean out something negative from in our hearts so as to let Him in. We must sacrifice something for Hashem, giving Him a gift which we will never take back. These days are an amazing opportunity for us to bring Hashem into our hearts. If we prepare properly, He will not leave us, but remain in our hearts forever.

7- Baltimore- chaburah in Ner Yisroel- We know from the Rambam that there are thirteen essentials of Torah, the thirteen principles of emunah. Everything in the Torah is important, but these are the most important issues to focus on, especially the first: the awareness of Hashem. Emunah must fill our day, from the moment we say upon arising, “I thank in Your Presence (not merely “I thank You”) Hashem, for restoring my soul…” This truth should cause us to totally change our outlook on what is important in life. We may need to make changes as drastic as those adopted by a Ba’al Teshuvah, to reorient our lives in a way that a constant relationship with Hashem will be our primary focus.

8- Monsey- Belz Kollel- When the Ba’al Shem Tov came into this world, he brought a tremendous light that effectively revived Klal Yisroel from its state of spiritual death. The Satan was worried about all the inspiration and the love and fear of Hashem that the Ba’al Shem Tov and his followers would bring to the world, and sought a way to counteract that and conceal this great light. The Satan succeeded by making many chasidim who merely accept the chitzonius (outer customs) of the chasidim, such as the style of clothing, without having any of the pnimius (inner essence). The chitzonius is important, because it protects people from falling, but one needs more than protection. One would not suffice with just protecting his money by burying it in the ground; he would want to invest some of it. Now that the light of the Ba’al Shem Tov has entered the world, although it is becoming progressively more and more concealed, we are required to reclaim it, just as the light of Pesach is concealed at first, but then reclaimed during the Sefirah period.

How do we know what to do practically? It is fine to read sefarim on Shabbos, but that is not enough to build one’s life. Certainly, the main effort must remain to observe the times for learning gemara and halacha, and to be careful with all the halachos. But in addition, one must add chiyus (holy energy) to it all. There must be time for studying the works of chasidus on a regular basis. One work that is relatively understandable is the Ma’or Vashemesh. However, there is still a problem in that it goes by the parsha (weekly portion), and does not show us a specific path.

Nowadays, as in all times, there are not enough tzaddikim to be able to adequately guide all the seekers who need guidance. Our only option is to yearn for the levels we see in the sefarim and daven and cry to Hashem that He will show us the way to reach them. Many people despair of reaching the high levels portrayed in the sefarim. They feel the levels are way beyond them. They must know that these levels were originally beyond the abilities of those authors themselves, but Hashem granted the levels as a gift. We must serve Hashem to the best of our abilities, recognizing that we cannot jump levels on our own, and cry out to Hashem for guidance in finding a way and reaching levels really beyond our current abilities. In these special days of tefillah, we must take advantage of our opportunity to approach the King, and ask for these great achievements. We must not be satisfied with petty things.

9- Monsey -Yeshivat Tov- On Rosh Hashanah, there are two emotions that should be present within us. There should be a sense of fear, due to the judgment taking place on that day. In addition, we should feel great joy. That is the one day each of us comes before the King, and although He judges us, it is a tremendous opportunity for acquiring closeness to Him. The Arizal states that one should be crying at some point on Rosh Hashanah, which will be the time one is being judged. The crying is not due to fear. To the contrary, the fear should freeze us, as one would feel when confronted by a lion! The crying, rather, should be tears of joy, as the neshamah rejoices in its closeness to Hashem. But this can only be appreciated by one who has been seeking such closeness all year. Such a person can appreciate this gift of closeness that he receives. Another person would have no use for it. We cannot really start preparing for this Rosh Hashanah now, if we have not been on the path to Hashem all year. We should rather try to prepare for Rosh Hashanah of 5769! However, if we do take the steps to be truly ready for 5769, our proper commitment, although only a commitment, can be a merit even for 5768.

10- Kew Gardens Hills- Beit Midrash Tov- The word “shofar” relates to the word “shapru,” which means “to improve.” We must not suffice with hearing the shofar; we must take a lesson from the shofar as to how we should improve. The shofar is narrow at one end and wide on the other, indicating a transition from a narrow, constricted outlook to a broader one. This means that we must stop only thinking about ourselves and living for ourselves. This is essential is we are to be judged favorably and for Mashiach to come. There are many ways we can start to care for others. Even if one goes to learn Torah by himself, he can have in mind to give a small percentage of the merit of his learning to the rest of the Jewish people, particularly to those who do not have the opportunity to learn Torah. This intent alone can help inspire others to do teshuvah, and will even give them the ability to rise at techiyat hameitim (the resurrection), because one cannot be resurrected without the merit of Torah. Many people donate money, but for selfish reasons, such as for honor, or to be rewarded with wealth. We must train ourselves to give because we care about other people. If we start caring about others, our avodat Hashem will improve, as well. We will become used to not doing whatever feels good, but what is right. You must learn to think on your own about how you can help others, not just to be told by someone else how to do so. When we approach Rosh Hashanah, we must commit to be somewhat better in the coming year. You must not take on too many commitments, because they will not last; even one point is fine, if you will really work with it throughout the year. Here is a suggestion: commit to spending one minute a day thinking about how you can help others, either spiritually or physically. If you focus on giving selflessly, Hashem will also give to you, measure for measure.

11- Far Rockaway- Shor Yoshuv- The gemara says (Makkos 24a) that Chavakuk stated that all the mitzvos have one foundation: “The righteous man lives with his emunah” (Chavakuk 2:4). Why is emunah the foundation of everything? Shouldn’t the foundation be Torah? After all, we know that the mitzvos are only garments of the soul, while Torah study is the food for the soul. The answer is that without proper emunah, the Torah study does not serve its purpose. The Torah was given as an outgrowth of the revelation of Hashem, and it must be learned in such a way. Before learning, we must think about Hashem and do teshuvah, so that the learning can connect us to Him. Just as with learning Torah, one is not really connected to the learning unless he automatically thinks about Torah even when not in the Beis Midrash, so should one automatically have thoughts about Hashem. If he doesn’t, there is no real connection. The learning is all in the mind, but not the heart, and he has not learned properly. When making our self-accounting for Rosh Hashanah, we must evaluate not only how much Torah we have learned, but how much of a real connection to Hashem and His Torah we have achieved.

12- Yeshiva University- Although practically speaking, many people cannot learn Torah and engage in spiritual endeavors all the time, all of us must maintain the highest ideals. We must know that the ideal is a purely spiritual life with no involvement at all in the material world. Practically speaking, each person must be pragmatic, and not try to give up too much of the material world at one time, lest he be unable to handle it. One must make small improvements, constantly moving in small steps toward a more spiritual life. Likewise, we should all strive to live in Eretz Yisrael, but practically speaking, it is not possible or appropriate for everyone. We must, however, at least remember that we are in golus. The point is that we must have the loftiest ideals, with practical small steps towards those ideals. This is why we must yearn daily for Mashiach: we must yearn for that kind of world. When we approach Rosh HaShanah, we must evaluate not how much good we have done, but how much we have aligned ourselves with spiritual values.

13- Woodmere- Bilvavi Chaburah- Rav Yechezkel Levenstein, zt”l, the Mashgiach of Ponovezh, said in one of his lectures that each person should strive to become a great person. Anyone can become great, regardless of age, lineage, and intelligence. A great person is one who is attached to Hashem, and ultimately, nullifies himself before Him. There are three means through which we must cleave to Hashem: our character traits, our thoughts, and our will.

One does not need to actually acquire character traits; the good traits are already deep inside us, but they are covered by the “foreskin of the heart.” One might intellectually accept the value of humility, but the heart might still be arrogant of its own accord. The simple way to fix the negative attributes is to gradually work with them, step by step, over a very long time. But the Ba’al Shem Tov taught that when entering a palace with many gates, there are two ways to enter: you can have a lot of different keys, and hopefully open each door in its own way, or you can take an ax and break through all the doors in the same manner. In other words, one can improve himself with tremendous dedication and energy and quickly break through the negative barriers. The gemara (Avodah Zarah 17a) tells that R’ Elazar ben Durdaya did powerful teshuvah in a short period of time and merited eternal life through it. He cried from the depth of his heart and died with repentance. We don’t need to die from repentance, but if we want that kind of quick growth, we need to feel tremendous pain over our faults, cry out to Hashem, and totally commit ourselves to Him. To extent that we give ourselves over to Hashem, we can achieve inner purity.

To cleave to Hashem through our thoughts, we need the proper kind of Torah knowledge. For our Torah to resemble Hashem’s wisdom in some way, it must have yashrus (clear and straight thinking). But we cannot achieve this on our own. We must attain wisdom from Hashem, and then it will automatically have yashrus. To attain wisdom from Hashem, we must sense that He is with us when we are learning Torah.

To cleave to Hashem through our will, we need not create a new will. Deep down, we already have the desire to do His will. We need only to nullify our superficial opposing will, and access our inner will, which is identical to His will.

One who achieves these three means of cleaving to Hashem will be nullified before Hashem, as Moshe Rabbeinu was. Such a person will have no sense of self, as the Divine Presence will speak from his throat. This is the state referred to as “ruach hakodesh.”

14- Woodmere- Aish Kodesh- When the gemara says (Kesuvos 110b) that one who lives in the Diaspora is domeh (like) one without a God, it doesn’t mean that Hashem’s Presence is not there. He is everywhere, and tzaddikim throughout the generations, including the authors of the gemara itself, lived in the Diaspora. What it means is that one will have a dimayon (illusion) that Hashem is not present there. In other words, it is more difficult to find the presence of Hashem outside of the Land of Israel. We are influenced by the nations around us, who pursue material values and correspondingly ignore spiritual values. Even if we don’t see them, our hearts feel their influence. But one who puts forth the necessary extra effort will find Hashem. The Torah says (Devarim 4:29), “And you will seek from there (the Diaspora) Hashem, your God, and you will find Him, if you search will all your heart and with all your soul.” I was told by three separate people not to bother visiting the United States. “The people there will have no interest in what you have to say,” they insisted. I did not listen to them, and thank God, I was not disappointed. I have met so many people here who truly yearn for Hashem, and just need guidance in how to become close to Him. There are many people in this country with an even stronger yearning for holiness than is generally found among the people in Israel. Here, you can see the emptiness of materialism more clearly and use this recognition to spark a true yearning for spiritual attainments.

In earlier generations, people lived very simply. Just look at pictures and descriptions of the Chofetz Chaim’s simple two-room home. Those people understood that this world is a temporary home, and that our lives should be focused on our permanent home in Gan Eden. People who consider this world their real abode are akin to a man in prison who focuses on decorating and renovating his cell, and does not even want to leave it when he is freed! It is permissible to buy a house; many tzaddikim did so. But you must remember that you will only be there for a number of decades at most, and that hopefully Mashiach will come soon, so that you can leave this place.

-Dixie Yid

(Picture by Dave Bender on Israel At Level Ground)