I just perused your post at A Simple Jew and the link to your blogs about the Meor Einyaim.
Similar to you, I began my conversion at age 18. Shortly after conversion a couple years later I became familiar with the teachings of a particular Chassidus which resonated with me. I am not the most aggressive type so getting my hands on the necessary information to try to make a kesher, along with my own hesitancies, meant it took me several years to make any real progress. B'H,recently I've made progress with the help of a very dear friend and last winter I met with the Admor shlita.
I have amassed a nice collection of seforim from this Chassidus which deal halachah, minhagim, and of course chassidus.
My Loshon Kodesh isn't the greatest, but I can read large sections when I find the right one.
In one of the works,I was very taken aback by a couple sections dealing with Gentiles in very strong terms. Historically it was completely understandable and the Mechaber was actually somewhat apologetic for taking such a forceful stance but it was still a tough read.
Of course I was attracted to teachings of this Chassidus because it balanced different tendencies in Yiddishkeit in a way that felt right to me. But, by then I had also read enough to know that this balance wasn't always obvious in any given discussion.
I have since been told that it was not unusual for the mechaber of this sefer to describe things under discussion in absolute terms. There was generally a practical point to be learned and it was not to be left in doubt. The nuance that I appreciated so much was to be noticed in the big picture.
I have another friend who is a convert and a chasid. He said that the first time he picked up a particular sefer he soon read a comment about the Umos haOlam's which was difficult to take....and put the sefer down for several years in protest. Only later did he learn context which helped him assimilate the concept. I guess I should be grateful that I had a little more background first.
There are well known things in the Torah sh'biksav itself that are difficult for us to assimilate. Emunah Peshuta, in my opinion, means that since we are justified in believing in Hashem and His Torah we are justified using His Torah to guide our hashkafa. Most of the difficulties we face are only in theory, the time when they where practical was a time when Hashem gave us open nissim and mamash nevuah existed. I suspect that was part of the equilibrium of free will. There emunah was supported with more actual observation so their avodah was that of actual actions, while our emunah is dependent on our mental acceptance so our avodah in this respect is essentially limited to our mental outlook.
(This picture of a "natural mikvah" is courtesy of Rabbi Lazer Brody's post, Mikvah- Ritual Immersion.)
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